Hubby (37m) me (35f) he got off work at 11:30 am and I got nothing but a kiss 😘 {we did have an hour last night}
We’ve always been 2-4 times a week then recently almost daily. 2-3 times a day on the weekends. We’ve also been exploring more so maybe he’s scared of that. Idk just seems odd to me. He has a history of lurking and paying so I’m always second guessing and overthinking everything. Yeah that’s what a 17 yr relationship gives ya, youngens. Married at 18 and only one baby daddy with two kids that have health issues so yea leaving wasn’t a good choice for them. Heart problems at birth and the other hormone issues. So now he says I can do the bad things he has done but I don’t want to and honestly I don’t know all the things cause he didn’t tell me I found them on his phone cause he was getting notifications blown up while we were doing the deed and yea I saw it was a swinger site that he subscribed us too cause we had talked about it 1 time thinking about and posted my ass pictures.
Fast forward recently the last months I found out he paid for only fans and in 2016 I found he had saved photos/videos of one of my military friends on dropbox. Well 2019 we purchased a new home and I found he had accessed them again I asked him to delete them but found out recently in 2024 we got new phones. Well he accessed them again in Jan 24’. I went off and told him I deleted the whole albums, he’s probably just gonna get access again from his military friend or had them saved elsewhere.
So I’ve been chatting with one of his local buddies (he knows I’ve been messaging him too cause he got mad that his buddy was messaging me daily) that hit me up cause I put a social media boundary where I just deleted him cause I didn’t want to see who’s picture he liked or girls he was following. So when I did that I told him I have Reddit and he kinda freaked. Asking what I was looking and reading all the time. Well he snopped and took a picture of my screen name so he could stalk my page. I was pissed especially since I’ve never broken vows and he just feels like I’m cheating and always said I was cheating which was him the whole time. Ugh I don’t understand what to do anymore… if we divorce I lose cause we don’t get to grow old or love our grandkids together and if I stay I get to feel like a foolish envious bitch always second guessing and I don’t want to feel that way either. I know it’s so easy to tell a stranger to get divorced.
Also the other day he got home at 1:30 and I told him did he want to pencil me in for a 2 pm or 8pm appointment 🥵✏️ he didn’t say anything? Like I’m trying and he doesn’t understand or just don’t want me anymore.
What boundaries would you suggest? We are new to making social media boundaries as well cause well we grew up with internet so both of us were subjected to porn early so that was never a boundary for either of us. So middle aged relationships what’s some boundary suggestions?
TDLR: too long didn’t read; {he cheated, over stepped boundaries and now I overthink} read details 🤣