anyways my (f23) child’s father (m23) is a man i went to school with and have known for around 3 years. we would mess around but nothing serious just good friends.
well last year during one of our moments we didn’t use protection and the after contraception failed so i got pregnant. basically towards the start of the next month after we hooked up, i had gotten the flu and went to the doctors where i was tested and prescribed medicine. nothing came back positive in my urine so of course i didn’t think anything of it. mind you i would have already been a month at this point. nonetheless i continued with my prescriptions and my normal ones which i already took for previous issues as i have ibs. i continued with life for the next couple months and contributed my missing period to the fact that 1) i’m already irregular, 2) i fell super sick which threw off my cycle and 3) all the medicines i was taking. yet i noticed i was starting to feel better but still no period which is when i decided to take my own test and well it was positive and at this point i was told it was too far along to terminate.
my child’s father lives around 3 hours away as he’s in med school. when i told him about everything he said he didn’t believe that i didn’t know and that i was waiting until i was too far along so i couldn’t be able to have the abortion. he begged me to terminate and accused me of trapping him. he said i’m forcing him to be a dad and that he doesn’t understand how i could be so stupid and not know i was pregnant.
now i’m 7mos pregnant with a boy and he has not contacted me at all except to express how much he hates me and that he’ll never forgive me for putting him in this situation. that he’ll never believe me that i didn’t know and he’ll still be apart of his sons life but not speak to me at all. he says that he doesn’t need to speak to me directly in order to be a father to his son and if he ever speaks to me it’ll be very short and emotionless. also he cannot be near or around me as i’ve invited him to an ultrasound appt which he refused because he hates me so much he can’t bear to be in my presence so he says.
he also said that when my sons older he’ll have his own family already so he won’t need to speak to me at all and only directly to my son. case in point, he wants to be in his sons life but have absolutely no communication or contact with me because he truly hates me, didn’t want to have a child with me and he hates me because i continued with the pregnancy and was too stupid to not know i was pregnant soon enough to terminate.
honestly as i’m getting closer to my delivery date, i want nothing to do with him but i understand he’s my sons father. he deserves to have that male figure and relationship with his dad. i just don’t know how i’m going to do it was a man who clearly despises me for carrying his child? he’s said some very hurtful things to me that i can’t forget and he appears to be narcissistic. how can be be in his sons life when he deeply hates his mother all for not terminating?
what would you do in this situation? i’m deeply hurt but know i have to continue for my son who’s about to be here.
tl;dr – child’s father hates me for continuing pregnancy and forcing him to have a child with me