Hello everyone,I want to share a situation that’s been troubling me. A while ago, I posted about this but it got deleted. Here’s the backstory: I’ve been best friends with someone (let’s call them BFF) for 7 years. We used to hang out a lot, smoking weed and chatting about everything. Then, about 10 months ago, I met my boyfriend (let’s call him BF) and things changed.
BF doesn’t approve of weed smoking, which I respected and stopped doing. He also had an issue with me hanging out alone with my BFF at my place due to religious reasons. Initially, I didn’t agree to stop because I wasn’t sure I could commit to it. Instead, I continued seeing my BFF but always informed BF when we hung out. However, BF surprised me at my place a couple of times when my BFF was there.
One day, my BFF came over and expressed concerns about BF. He felt BF was pressuring me into decisions I didn’t make, like quitting smoking and seeing my friends less often. While it’s true I spent less time with my friends after getting into a relationship, my BFF’s words made me doubt my relationship with BF, and I foolishly decided to break up with him. I deeply regret this decision.My BFF meant well and thought he was looking out for me, but naturally, BF was upset and didn’t want me seeing my BFF anymore. I agreed not to be alone with my BFF in private spaces.
Yesterday, my boyfriend told me in the morning that he was tired and so he would rest at his place tonight. Fine, then I plan on seeing my friends and only my best friend and another girl friend were available. So he invited us to his place and we went. I waited for an hour in my car for my girl friend to arrive so I wouldn’t be alone with him in his appt. My boyfriend called me and told me he wasn’t tired anymore, and he wanted us to hang out. I said I couldn’t because I was at my bff’s place with our friend as well.
Then the fire started. He started crying and saying that I was not respecting him and how could I stay with someone that tried to ruin our relationship, he would never do that to me and I was not trying to put myself in his shoes. He told me he feels so sad and angry whenever I mention his name. We ended up by saying we shouldn’t fight so much about this without finding any viable solution and had make up sex.
I don’t know what to do anymore to keep my BFF in my life without hurting my BF… Any advice would be welcome
PS: this is the ONLY reason we have fought in our 10 month relationship, other than that, everything is perfect between us and also I obviously love him very very much
TL;DR: My best friend tried breaking up my relationship with my boyfriend and I got influenced and listened to him (I regret that so much but what happened happened). Now my boyfriend wants me to stop seeing him completely and everytime we talk about it we get in a huge fight. We’ve been together for 10 months and I’ve been best friend with my BFF for 7 years