So you see there is a 13 year old and a 15 and a half year old that I know, the 15 year old always feels like she is too old for the 13 year old because she is 2 and a half years older. For me at least it doesn’t seem like that large of an age difference, but I know a lot of growth and development happen during those years, so I do not know what to do exactly. With the power dynamics of course leaning in the older favor she worries the younger one might change himself for her or just look up to her in some sort of unhealthy way, but she’s hesitant to stop talking to him because they’ve made a close bond and is always nervous about these sorts of things. So what do you think I should tell her, maybe just stop talking to him, or maybe continue but be careful. I just don’t know please help, I want to tell them something.
\*\*TL;DR; Is a 2 and a half age difference with a 13 year old and a 15 year old too much\*\*
3 comments
Age is really just a number – people mature at different ages. Focus should not be about the age but in fact on the individuals maturity right now, something that the parties who are worried must assess for themselves.
IMO if they’re within a two or three years of each other, they’re peers. I graduated high school when I was 16, and other kids who graduated with me were 19 — but we were all in the same cohort. I had close friends who were 14 and who were 20. Freshmen and juniors dated and broke up just like freshmen and freshmen did.
There would be a power imbalance if, say, the 15-year-old was actually 19, or 13-year-old’s boss at the babysitter’s club, or something. There would have to be real and actual *authority,* which 15-year-olds don’t usually have. Otherwise they’re *totally fine.*
In my opinion at that age 13 is too young for anything romantic with 15 year old. It’s natural that the 13 year old to feel mature enough but it’s healthy of the 15 year old to recognize the real difference in life experience and maturity.
Half plus seven rule also says no.
Friendship isn’t weird, but if there’s romantic chemistry there it can and should wait imo. And if either party is pushing for romance when the other is not interested for whatever reason that’s not okay