In college at 31, I met a quiet woman on the same course. She lives in another state and commuted here one day a week.
I was overweight with a moustache, initiated most talking and she was quiet, looked at her phone, didn’t ask questions but replied. She changed seat when I was sitting next to her in a car.
But, one day, she asked me randomly if I wanted to share a house next semester. We met to discuss, eye contact was great but she was quiet looking at her phone and her friend asked about the ‘guy from last week’.
I didn’t feel great and said I would have to think about it. She looked at me with a surprised, hurt and sad expression.
We didn’t talk for the next few months (I didn’t know what to say) and kind of avoided each other.
Over the next 6 months, hurt, I worked on myself. I lost 45 pounds, went to the gym, shaved, grew my hair, and started taking care of my skin and clothes. A lot of this change was for her. 9 friends commented that I changed, look great, lost weight or look younger.
I was hoping to see her again, after the break.
But now – I found out she’s not coming back this year and has deferred to think about her career.
I reached out and let her know I was sorry to hear she wasn’t studying this year, and wished her well. She said she may return later, thanked me and did the same.
I’m stunned and down. She never got the chance to see the new, changed me.
How do I get over this woman I never dated?