So, I (18f) have a best friend (17f, 18 in about a week) – I truly have no idea if she’s toxic or just a bit draining. I’m going to call her Anne.
So just some of her behavior;
If Anne has a bad day, or even moment, she’ll ask me how I am, so I’ll ask how she is. She’ll either immediately start ranting or will type “im fine” so I’ll notice and ask what’s wrong. If I don’t care enough or I don’t ask, she gets mad at me. I don’t think she understands that I’m not always in the headspace to listen. But so we won’t fight, I just suck it up nowadays. And if I ever talk about my feelings she says “I’m sorry” or “that’s not good”, and then makes it about herself.
If Anne is mad at me, she will. Not. Talk. I get the silent treatment from her more than anybody else.
I’m not allowed to talk to people she doesn’t like, or she won’t talk to me.
I can’t call her out for anything, even if she hurts me (comments on my body, eating habits, her saying she’s smarter than I am, etc.)
If I act silly around her she gives me a weird look or laughs at me, but she constantly shrieks, dances, sings, etc.
She’s so hurtful and rude to me and others under the idea that she’s funny and that’s just her personality.
I can’t talk about my future plans bc if parts of it don’t involve her or if I plan to move, she gets sad.
If Anne wants something and can’t afford it she’ll ask me to buy it, and if I say no she gets mad at me.
She always expects me to be free, and gets mad when I’m not. and if I’m free but have plans with others, she gets mad at me. She offers to drive us places using her car over mine sometimes, and if I accept, there are times she’ll get mad because she doesn’t have the gas money. But what about my gas money?
Everything has to be about her. She has to be the center of attention. She does things over and over till i react.
But then on the other side, she says she sees me as a sister. She stands up for me sometimes. We have fun together. Maybe it’s just a communication difference? I might just be overreacting. Don’t know. But I’m sad.
TLDR; my friend is either just draining or is downright toxic. and Idk which one it is.