She’s that one that you’ve been waiting on. You didn’t know you were waiting on her until you found her. The one that makes it make sense. Like waking up for the first time realizing you were asleep until you met her. Why did you ever think anything else made sense before this? You thought you had it. Genuinely you thought you found it, and that’s why you’re married now. But not to her. Yet the greatest irony of the whole thing is that you never would have met her if you weren’t in the situation/circumstances you are in. The very set of circumstances that are preventing you from being with her. The same is true for her. You both recognized it when you met each other. She’s told you she feels the exact same way you do. She’s with someone though just like you are. Life found a way for this person, who you feel so deeply is YOUR soul mate, to fall into your life. Your one person who is so clearly the one person the universe intended for you to be with. Despite that fact, it can’t be. But how? How? How, if this is the person who you’re undeniably meant to be with, could it not be? Why would God do this? What lesson could this possibly have for you to learn except that dreams do not come true. Real happiness is for fairy tales. Life is a cruel joke. You’re not destined for happiness. Not everything works out the way it’s supposed to. Why? That’s all that’s left. Just fucking why? Do you leave? You can’t. Leaving doesn’t make you brave for trying to go be with the one you were destined for. It makes you selfish for destroying this life you’ve built. This life that by just about any measure is perfect. So you sacrifice your happiness. Your destiny. Because it’s the right fucking thing to do. Can you talk about it to your friends or family? Fuck no. A therapist is just going to tell you what you already know… that you should talk to your partner about this. How could you though? It would destroy everything. How could you just shatter a person like that? You can’t talk about it with her, because then it just makes her as miserable as you are. Especially because you both agreed this is the worst case of right person, wrong time ever. You both agreed that it’s too dangerous and would cause too much pain for those around you if you did what you would have to do in order to be together. So you’re just fucking stuck sitting in it. That’s why I’m here. Anyone else experience something similar? What happened?