I have been with my girlfriend for just under 3 years. She has had 2 previous relationships that both ended when they cheated on her. Her first boyfriend she has not spoken to in 6 years and the other one she hasn’t spoken to in 4 years.
Her first boyfriend recently messaged asking how she has been and just wanting to catch up. She told me about it and told me she was planning on replying. I told her I didn’t see why she’d want to bother talking to him when he’s not in her life anymore but just said I can’t stop her talking to him.
She told me a couple more times when he messaged but I’ve noticed his name popping up on her phone quite a bit when we’ve been sat watching videos on her phone etc. Last night she said she wanted to talk. She said she thinks I’ve been distant and that it’s like I don’t love her anymore.
I asked her to elaborate but she wouldn’t/ I just said it seems pretty convenient and coincidental that she’s saying this now after her ex has started messaging her. I pointed out it looks like she’s projecting since she’s the one spending more time on her phone now and it’s obvious she’s talking to him more than she’s making it seem.
She said it had nothing to do with him but I just repeated it seems like a big coincidence that she’s talking about supposed problems we have after he ex has started messaging her.
She accused me of deflecting the issues and not listening to her. I’m not really sure what to do here, does anyone have any advice on how to handle the situation?
tl;dr my girlfriend said she doesn’t think I love her and that I’ve been distant but when I pointed out it sounds like projection since she’s the one who has been distant and messaging her ex she got defensive and accused me of deflecting