My boyfriend (23M) and I (21F) are in a long distance relationship (almost 2 years), we recently met after six months of being apart in January and everything has been going well since.
I live with my father while he lives with his friends. My father wouldn’t approve of this relationship and hence I talk to him discreetly. His friends know me and we’re all on good terms. Still, he prefers to never talk to me over call or video call when he’s around his friends. I bring it up at times because it makes me feel that he isn’t proud of me while I’d like someone who’d flaunt me.
I’ve understood the shyness behind this behaviour and made my peace with it. I try to not call him when I know that he is with his friends. But today, I lost my understanding.
I got my underarms waxed, I anticipated that it would be painful, but it was SOULWRENCHINHLY painful. My underarms bled, and I am not able to move my hands without holding my breath in, because it hurts.
I got out of the salon, and sobbed like a baby as I walked to reach home. I just wanted to talk to someone and tell them that I’m worried if this is normal and that it’s hurting very bad.
I called my boyfriend twice, he didn’t pick up. He called me back in a minute and informed me that he was cooking. I started crying over call and telling him what has happened. He lovingly listened to me before I had to hang up because I met someone on the way.
I video called him shortly after, but he cut the call. I called him again, he disconnected again, and then again. I kept calling him because I knew he’s disconnecting because he’s around his friends and he can’t expect me to be understanding today when he heard me bawling my eyes out 3 minutes back.
He then voice called me, but i requested for a video call. I was infuriated when he picked up and cried asking why did he not pick up when he knew I needed him.
He said nothing. Not a word.
I get a text later-
“That was not cool”
“You embarrassed me by crying in pain infront of my friends”
“Don’t call me for a day”
I am numb. I feel so much that I feel nothing. Was I expecting too much? Am I being clingy? Am I supposed to feel sorry here? But why? I am so hurt by what he did and what he said.
tl;dr- long-distance boyfriend avoids calls when he’s with friends, but today, after a painful experience at the salon, he disconnected video calls when you needed support, later expressing embarrassment and asking for a day without contact. Feeling hurt, I question if my expectations are too high or if I am being clingy.