I work in mental health/social work (ironically enough) so it’s natural that most of my coworkers are women. There are two coworkers (28 F & 31 F) who I’ve really gotten friendly with, we all have similar senses of humor and were able to relate & decompress talking about how stressful our jobs are. I’m a bit closer to the 28 year old who I’ve hung out with before so I don’t anticipate any issues there but the 31 year old is married so my socially anxious ass doesn’t know how it’ll be perceived to ask her to hang out in a group of 3. She’s legit one of the funniest people I’ve ever met & is super dedicated to helping out her clients more so than the rest of her department so I admire that, but if there’s any feelings of ambiguity of what my intentions are from any party I really don’t want to deal with any of that. Her husband sounds like a cool guy but I’ve heard from enough dudes before who think men & women “can’t just be friends” that I’m too afraid to ask.
5 comments
Why not ask her to bring the husband along? Just another to add to the friend group
Hi, it’s cool to invite her out as a friend that bit would by saying it’s the three of you going but you could also acknowledge her marriage status if it felt more comfortable. It’s for her to put the boundary in place so don’t carry all the stress of it
It’s probably fine to hang out after work with work people. But if it’s going to be a separate “we should go out and do something” situation, then you really need to invite her with her husband. What would be the reason to leave him out? If it’s purely social and not work-related, no reason he can’t tag along.
I think men and women can be friends, I also thing any benefits add end the friendship. But as adult friends go, no matter the age or the sex we all have something to learn from each other. Not one person has all the qualities that we want to sustain our spiritual growth. I have had conversations with people much older than me and have learned philosophies that I wouldn’t have understood otherwise. I’ve been friends with younger people who have a different view of the society. If she uplifts you because she’s a shining example dedication and hard work then I urge you to always keep that company.
I’ve been friends with a coworker of the opposite sex for many years. There have likely been some “oooh, very interesting! I wonder if they’re boinking!” conversations, but my spouse doesn’t think this about our friendship, and we’re definitely just friends. Frankly, coworkers like these should (but won’t) get a life.