Hey, I have a problem and would love some advice. I’m in a long term program where I’m living with 8 other people.
One member of this group is Joe. He is also my direct roommate. He really, really annoying, and no one in the program really wants to be his friend because he is so hard to hang out with.
Whenever I walk into a shared space, he will follow me in there. (even if he hears me just filling up my water bottle). Then he’ll either start talking about his day (never asks about mine or anyone elses), and so I’ll usually just say “oh thats cool.” Then he’ll continue talking. And even when you don’t reply, he continues to talk.
Or, he’ll make the same jokes: “you wanna know what else is funny?/drugs/your mom/ Deez nuts!” The jokes are never funny, so I don’t laugh.He burps and farts aloud all the time and we’ve asked him to be more discreet.
He just talks and talks and talks. When he’s not talking, he’s hovering. When I come home in the afternoon from working since 5am, he’ll just talk at me about his day- but he doesn’t even do anything all day because he does not yet have a placement at the program!
So I excuse myself to lay down. When I come out an hour later, it’s the same stuff. He just talks at me/everyone constantly. I tell him I’m overstimulated and he’ll keep talking until I put my headphones on. I feel bad for disliking him so much and feeling so resentful towards him, but I really do not like being around him. He is so annoying!
I can tell he’s lonely. He doesn’t have a close friendship with anyone here and he latches on me because we are roommates. But I don’t want to be his friend.
He also seems to forget that I am tired when I come home, even though I work 5 days a week. He always just wants to talk, and seems so sad when I excuse myself. I feel so bad, but I don’t know how to get through to him.
It’s a draining situation, and I’d appreciate any advice. Specifically, what can I do in this situation? And am I justified in my feelings or am I being an asshole?
TDLR: Can’t get through to my annoying roommate in a respectful way.