I’ll admit, I can get pretty bad jealousy. My girlfriend knows that and we’ve worked hard these past 3 years to get me to be better at trusting her and not be so overbearing every time she goes out. Whenever she goes out with her friends to a bar or whatever I do get pretty anxious but I’ll admit I’ve come a long way.
However, she has a friend (21F) who is obsessed with this fraternity in her university, she has a boyfriend who lives in another state and I have heard her obsess over these frat dudes, she won’t do anything with them but the fact that she obsesses over them and their looks still gives me bad vibes. There also have been many times when my girlfriend, the supportive caring friend she is, will be brought into situations outside of my comfort zone because her friend does and she wants to make sure she’s okay.
My girlfriend has been friends with her for years, however as they’ve gotten older the only time she can really hang with her is go with the friend to these frat parties. Long story short, there was a time last year when she got really sick and she and her friends called me to pick her up however I was dead asleep (post 10 hour shift). Well her friend decided to leave and she had no choice but to end up crashing on the frats couch. I later learned that she had a one time thing with one of the dudes there so a fucked part of my brain always is fucked that if she crashes he might try to take advantage of her or an even more fucked part of my head tries to convince me she might cheat on me. Either way, I consciously trust her, this is the woman I want to marry however after abandoning her when she was sick and obsessing over this frat, I do not trust my girlfriends friend to keep my girlfriends best interests in mind when they go out.
So every time they do, I get mad anxious and I feel like I have to hide it or my girlfriend might think that all the progress we’ve made on my trusting her Is out the window. Shit sucks and like idk what to do I don’t want to freak out and imagine fucked scenarios every time she goes out , however I still want her to go out and have fun with her friends yknow. I don’t want to stop her from being her own person and not let her have fun, but I hate being this anxious mess every time. I just feel like this friend is so self centered that she might put my girlfriend in a situation where her safety and shit are out in harms way. I just don’t know how to handle this like should I talk to my girlfriend about this or is this just me being like a toxic possessive boyfriend???
TL;DR my girlfriend has this friend that I am not the biggest fan of and everytime they go out I get mad anxious and paranoid and I don’t know to fix it.