I’ve realized that all the communication I engage in is strictly factual and occurs out of necessity. It’s like I’m just missing large amounts of software that most people seem to have built-in? Most people \*want\* to share things with each other, and I really don’t understand it. I don’t know what they get out of telling each other about their kids and their hobbies and the way their day went
But by not engaging in this I come to feel subhuman and alienated. I’m very isolated at my job; despite working with the same four or five people for a year and a half, I know nothing about them and don’t really care to, and they know nothing about me. This has made for a pretty uncomfortable work dynamic because I’m more generally excluded now and they don’t talk to me about important work-related subjects
I have an understanding and supportive partner, but I want to meet her on her level too? I feel good about our dynamic until I watch her interact with other people and I remember that there’s an entire layer of communication she can’t have with me
I try to be polite when people interact with me, listen to what they have to say even though I don’t get it, give a response that shows I was paying attention… the last thing I want is to be rude or hurtful, but I think my general disinterest and lack of understanding still come across that way
I want to improve and I want this to make sense to me, but I’m not really sure where to start… is sharing strictly altruistic? Are you divulging information for the sake of the other person’s understanding? But if that’s the case then why do people talk about such mundane and irrelevant subjects? I’m really not trying to be a dick, I know there’s a valid and meaningful reason, I just don’t understand