Me and my bf have been together for 6 months. So basically a few months ago my bf cheated on me. He got super drunk and kissed another girl. It broke my heart. He promised me he wouldn’t go out drinking or even drink for months and months. It’s less than 2 months later and he’s already planned a night out with the boys. This has hurt me a great deal as he is going back on his promises. His excuse is that I’ve been stressing him out and he needs to blow off steam. For context i have not been the best gf, I can be very paranoid about his ex (he was with her for 6.5 years) and I have been unintentionally manipulative and dealt with things very unfairly. I fully own up to this and I am now doing my absolutely best to make changes to this toxic behaviour of mine. It wasn’t fair on him and it was wrong. This behaviour of mine got worse after he cheated, and although the behaviour was unhealthy it was now ten times worse solely bc of what he’d done. Now he is using it as an excuse, saying that I’ve caused him so much stress and turmoil he needs to blow off steam. I don’t doubt that I’ve caused him a lot of stress, however, such mh issues arose after as trip he took a month after we started dating. On this trip he calls me at 4am, completely wasted to tell me that he went to far with another girl (not kissing, just grinding and dancing too sexually etc). This to me felt like cheating although I know it doesn’t technically count. it was the first time he’d gone out whilst we were together. Before this point our relationship was perfect, and we were truly forming something so so special. After this trip, I spiralled for months into a mh crisis and dealt with it very poorly and took it out on him. Then eventually I forgive him, and he goes out again. This time he actually cheats…and now, less than two months later after countless promises, he’s demanding he’s going out again to blow of steam bc of the amount of stress I’ve caused him. I don’t trust him and I don’t feel like this is fair on me. But somehow he’s flipping it to make me feel as if I’m in the wrong here? Calling me controlling etc, which yes, I am being, but with good reason no? Further, it’s a fine line between controlling and wanting him to stick to the promises he made me. Idk what to do. I feel crazy.
5 comments
Hey hope you’re okay. I went through a similar situation in the past and you are welcome to talk privately if you want. As cliche as the saying is, things do not get better. Now he knows what he can get away with, he’ll keep doing it and he is the one being manipulative to try make you look like the bad person
in my opinion, wayyyy too much drama, cheating, insecurity, betrayal, control, broken promises for 6 MONTHS! when he first cheated on you you had been together for just a few months AND the relationship was already rocky! you are NOT crazy, he’s MAKING you crazy. you’re NOT controlling, he’s OUT OF CONTROL. you don’t trust him because he’s UNTRUSTWORTHY.
someone else will at least respect you enough to let you enjoy a honeymoon phase before cheating on you (joking), but seriously: relationships are meant to improve your life & make it easier NOT stress you out to the point of insanity! it should be fun!
Little bit out of this topic but see attachment styles on google.
and question is he is going with boys.is that girls also there?
If yes then its not acceptable but if only boys then maybe you agree for him.
This is a terrible start to a relationship, and you should just break up.
Oh really… A person who cheats breaks promises as well, who would have thought