I feel like an outcast sometimes. I get benefits based on my appearance at times (had to reword), matter of fact, my best interactions with people are when I’m first meeting them. They listen to me, they agree with me, they smile at me, I feel.. popular? Then my personality settles in and I’m a weird reject. I’ve tried all different types of cliques but the outcome all comes out the same. I have self esteem issues when it comes to my personality and I don’t know what to do. I try to listen more or not to talk as much but that doesn’t work for long. Last week I made a joke about *something you wouldn’t say to your boss and would probably only say to close friends* and the girl just stared at me and at that moment I thought to myself “yep, my personality just settled in” I try to not let it get to me but today its feeling really daunting because I got denied into a club and I really think it was because I allowed myself to be too open with people I thought would accept me for me. And if they couldn’t accept me, then who can?