I (21F) had a FWB situations with a friend (21NB) in our friend group. While we both admitted to liking each other and caring for each other deeply, we agreed we didn’t really wanna do labels or anything and kinda just wanted to see where life tools us and our relationship. They ended up really liking someone else and ending the sexual part of our relationship, which I was more than fine with. They promised however to stay friends and to always be there for me. That was the one rule we had about our situation, no matter what we’d always stay friends and always care for each other.
Anyways, they ended up not staying with this girl and kept going on Tinder dates, hooking up with other girls, and having really short relationships with other people. They even introduced a handful of these girls to our friend group. And despite popular belief, I was fine with that. I was more than fine with them dating other people.
What angered me was how, when they were really into another girl, they’d pretty much stop talking to me all together. Not a text, not a word from them. They wouldn’t even acknowledge me or talk to me when we would all hang out together and their partner/date was their. Or, I don’t even know if this is worse, they’d give me almost too much attention, like a hug that was way too long. And I’d know if things were going badly with their date/relationship if I suddenly got a text from them out of the blue. I was just so annoyed with the inconsistency and how they didn’t really stick by their promise of staying the close friends we were. I’m not naive, I know our relationship was gonna change, but to literally disappear on me only to come back and shower me with attention, then disappear again?
I truly am indifferent to whether or not they wanna be with me or date other people, but no one else believes me and it’s so irritating. Everyone thinks I’m still into them and want them back. It doesn’t help that I haven’t been in a relationship since I was with them but they have and had multiple good dates. I’ve just been unlucky in dates.
A lot of my friends will make comments on it, asking me how I feel about their newest date or teasing me. I once mentioned how I was jealous they have managed to go on so many good dates and one of my friends said “Hmm, now why is that?” I guess trying to get me to say I want them back or something when really I’m just jealous of their success rate.
Basically, how do I handle my friends believing
I want to be with this person so badly and how do I deal with them basically. Happy to add any more details or clarification.
TL;DR: I was in a friends with benefits situation with someone and even though I never really had a desire to be in an official relationship with them, all our friends think I do and make fun of me for it or comment on it.