TLDR: my husband (28M) hates tattoos, I (31F) already have some since before we were together (6-7yrs) and want more. How do we come to an understanding?
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Hi! First time posting, but have sifted through some similar threads related to this.
I (31F) have 2 small tattoos and 1 larger piece on my upper arm. When I met my now husband (28M) I had the 2 small ones. He never said anything about disliking them. I messed around with some temporary half sleeve tattoos one day and just put it on (not a big deal to me) – he came home from work panicked and livid (back when we were just dating). I didn’t quite understand his concern: 1) it was fake and 2) I already had 2 tattoos. Although I never expressed interested in getting more (honestly was in school, broke, and afraid to get too much bc job prospects), I was never against the thought. Hence why I tried a half sleeve temporary tattoo.
Fast forward to about to get married (been dating for 4-5 years at this point). My grandmother passed and I wanted to get a larger piece on my upper arm with florals and a hummingbird to remember her. I made the appointment without him knowing bc I was afraid of his reaction since he freaked out about a temporary tattoo and then as it got closer (after we got married) I told him my intentions. At that point, I could have still backed out of getting it. He had an absolute melt down. So mad, calling them trashy and ugly, etc. Made it seem like even though I was hearing his opinion I was “stubborn and selfish” for doing what I wanted to anyway. I got it.
We’ve had on and off arguments about tattoos since then bc I want to fill out the piece into a floral half sleeve.
So again… I bring it up to him bc an artist I want to go to has opened their books. I’m trying to tread carefully bc I know how he doesn’t like them, but trying to be open and communicative this time. He’s not having it, throwing a fit and berating me for bringing it up again when I know how much he dislikes them. We have complete opposite opinions (although I’d never get head to toe tattooed).
Any suggestions to facilitate having this discussion and coming to an understanding? I realize there’s not really a compromise with tattoos – you either do or don’t. Thanks!!