Twice this past week i talked to my bf(m26) in a really bitchy tone when i was arguing with him. I said “no-ANSWER the question.” And i feel really really bad about this. I want to change. I don’t want to lose him and i feel like the worst gf in the world. He has every reason to break up with me and he forgave me instead. Idk how to stop as this is the 2nd time in a week and it’s not like me…i usually speak calmly. I’m upset with myself and embarrassed.
2 comments
We need more context. A lot of people do that when our questions are being met with evasive responses so your demand to have a question answered isn’t inherently bitchy.
An aspect of the success of a relationship can revolve around how you two deal with problems. If you cannot change how you talk to him, LISTEN (SUPER IMPORTANT), and find middle ground then it’ll be up to how much shit he’ll be willing to take. And it’ll come to a point where you both hit an impasse and none of you will talk to each other and someone just ends the relationship.
Next time try to do this: recognize that you two are fighting. And try to articulate your side so that when you tell him he’ll be able to understand it (doesnt matter how rational or irrational – just articulate it well, whatever the issue). Then hear him out and really listen to understand. Finally, try to see where you both agree is an issue, apologize on your side then explain why or how you felt that way, then he should follow suit and do the same. Easier said than done, but just taking a second to recognize you’re fighting and trying to explain it in a calm manner will do you wonders.
That’s my advice, hopefully you’ll really take what others and myself are saying and aren’t just feeling bad for yourself and looking to vent. Take action to be better, because talk is cheap. Have a great rest of your day and I wish you the best in your relationship!