At the pub the other night with two friends ( a guy and a girl ) the subject of ex partners comes up and we can’t agree on who he was seeing at a certain time. He then pulls up a list on his phone of everyone he’s slept with.
I thought this was ridiculous and hilariously childish (we are all around 29) then my other friend pulls out her list on her phone to start checking that ! And this one has a star system and rankings on. I’m flabbergasted.
I’ve known them both for about 15 years and I never knew of this list they had been keeping they also had no idea the each other had a list but they still insist it’s normal and “most people” have one. Am I loosing my mind ? This is creepy right ? And not normal.
40 comments
I don’t think one is enough to be called a list…
That’s not normal, it’s weird and creepy, you’re not crazy OP
I’m 35 and definitely think this is weird
Definitely creepy.
I did once make a list of people I’d slept with, but only because I could not for the life of me remember one girl’s name, but I knew where she fit chronologically… Also, it felt kinda disrespectful to just forget their names over time? …Not sure it was any more respectful making a list, but I keep it private, and I don’t have a ranking system on there…
That’s a hard no from me. The ability to let some encounters fade from memory was fairly important.
Girl at work had a spreadsheet and rated men she slept with. She got rid of it when she met “the one”
I keep an excel spreadsheet, I have even made a cool graph.
I did it mostly to notice any patterns, mostly.
Are you friends with Dennis Reynolds?
That’s not normal.
I get keeping a note in a calendar if you’ve multiple sexual partners on the go at once so you can keep track of who you slept with for sexual health purposes* – if you’re sleeping around how else do you know who gave you the clap. But other than that wtf.
*This is not something I’ve ever done though.
Thats proper weird
Sounds like something teenage boys would do during the height of laddisim.
It’s weird. Very weird. I can absolutely see people doing it in private for many reasons: trying to remember names, work out how many people there have been or just being a weirdo, but you absolutely would not pull this out in public or admit to it.
Only slept with 2, and one of them I was so drunk I don’t know if I actually did it or not. I don’t actually trust my friends much when they say I did because they were as drunk as I was…
Imo though. It’s childish to consider the number of people you’ve shagged to be a point of pride worth listing. Only school kids think shagging a large variety of strangers is something to be proud of.
Give me one long term relationship with someone I care about and actual love involved over a bunch of loveless pissed up one night stands any day 🙂 but I will admit that’s just my opinion and some people like no strings attached fwb relationships.
I know some people who have lists, no ratings or anything though as far as I’m aware. If you’ve had a bit of a promiscuous phase it’s probably interesting to keep track. Anyway, I don’t think it’s too weird.
[relevant](https://youtu.be/iadiC0EVQqc)
You can’t keep a list if you can’t remember their names.
Or… they don’t exist
That’s hilarious. Maybe they do it so they can remember their names
Tbh I want to forget some of the people I’ve slept with so making a list just seems like self punishment.
I think it’s weird. But I’m 37… so I might be old.
I know a couple people who do this, the reasoning being it’s handy to keep a record for if you find out you’ve been exposed to an STI.
If you keep track then you can easily see who you’d need to have the awkward conversation with.
To keep it as a matter of pride is weird though
I don’t keep a list but I’ve written all the names out several times over the years just to remember and count how many. I delete/get rid of it afterwards though
It seems like the sort of thing a teenager would think is cool, but is bizarre as an adult. What’s the point of keeping a list? And especially a score sheet! If you need a score sheet to remember if it was good, surely it can’t have been that memorable?
I have one.
It’s called marriage certificate
I’ve got a blank notepad
Yup totally have a lists. Sexual partners, who I’ve kissed, how many times I’ve had sex.
I saw the opportunity to know something not a lot of people know about them selves when I had my first kiss and now I’m in my 30’s and have kept it up.
I have a mental list, I guess. As in, I remember who I have slept with and roughly when. It’s not written down anywhere.
I have a friend who writes in her diary, including ranking, but that’s pen and paper, not a document on a computer or phone.
Lol that’s just sad. Even more so that they must have changed phones and they think about it that much to move it between them and keep it up to date.
Not normal. Am this age too… can confirm not normal.
Sure everyone has “a list” but mine is mental. Would take a few minutes to timeline it all but it’s only 15 years worth for fucks sake.
So, people keep a list of bands or concerts they’ve been to, football matches they attended, cities/countries they’ve visited, acclaimed restaurants they’ve eaten at, trains/other vehicles they’ve been a passenger on, records/vinyl they own, art galleries they’ve been to, celebrities they’ve met. The list goes on and on and on. But to keep a list of people you’ve had sex with is creepy and weird?
The only reasons I could imagine someone finding it weird and creepy:
1. They find they have a low score on someone’s list
2. A mate slept with someone they fancied but never got it on with
3. Thinking having a small list is a negative reflection on them
4. It’s disrespectful to current or ex-partners
5. It doesn’t mean anything and is only for ego
6. They’d be traumatised finding a current partner’s list
It feels a bit of an “each to their own” matter, rather than weird and creepy to me.
My initial instinct is to think it’s weird. But I can see the practicality behind with regards STIs. But … starring names? I don’t know. But now I’m wondering what my list would be like. There would be a lot going on in my 20s and 30s … and fuck all going on now!
The rating system especially is so gross.
LOL what are people getting at? I’m 100% with you on this one buddy. Not only is it childish, it’s creepy as well. It’s almost like viewing other people like stats and numbers and not as people. And how hard is to remember? If you don’t remember someone you slept it, obviously they weren’t good at it so that’s that. Seems more like a trophy list more than anything.
I’M A 5 STAR MAN!!!!
I started therapy for compulsive sexual behaviour when I was 16, and as part of that I started keeping a diary of any sexual activity to help be more consciously aware of patterns of what I was doing when
That included not just sex, but masturbating, watching porn, any exhibitionistic choices, etc
So I’ve got a detailed daily record of how my sex life has changed from my mid-teens to mid-twenties
I say mine every night before I go to sleep like Arya does with her list.
I’ve absolutely heard of people doing this, even seen some shared on Twitter. I think keeping a list is fine but sharing it with others is weird and a bit cringey.
Yeah that’s weird and creepy (and I’m younger than your friends). I’d hate to be on someone’s ‘list’ like that. Disrespectful imo
Reddit users will tell you its creepy and wierd but then that says more about the average reddit user than your friends who are actually getting laid.
You’re asking the wrong audience. Most people on reddit haven’t had sex anyway.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with keeping a list, I used to keep one in my late teens until my early thirties when I got married. Came in useful thirty years later after 2 kids and a divorce`.
Some people just like lists, it helps to keep your life together.