We’ve been friends since we were 12-13, and have been pretty close to eachother for the last couple years. He was/is always really funny, like comedian type stuff, and we always clicked like we just understood eachother on some level. He is the one person I could always just hang around with and forget everything else exists, if I could spend the rest of my life like that I would.
About a year ago I noticed that he’d gotten hot, he was never ugly per say but his skin had cleared up, he’d grown out his hair, and had gotten skinnier. He actually looked like a model. Ever since that day I can’t keep my eyes off him, he’s so fucking cute and gorgeous , I want to paint him even tho I’m not a painter.
I don’t know if he likes dudes though, he’s never had a girlfriend that I know of, but he’s kinda secretive about his life in general. He makes jokes about girls and stuff, but he also makes them about dudes, I think he might just be comfortable joking about anything, including making flirty jokes with me (which he does kinda often, makes my heart flutter).
I also don’t know if I am gay, as I, to my knowledge atleast, have no interested in men sexually or romantically. I also haven’t had a lot of close friends so I think my feelings might be me misattributing platonic feelings?