Me and my bf started seeing each other late June 2023 and around September he went on snapchat and I saw someone saved as Boy X <3. He also, right next to me, opened his messages with him where I saw they would call each other affectionate names like babe and baby, send kisses and love emojis like kissing face, love hearts etc. It was only a month or
so later I did bring it up where my bf told me I had nothing to worry about. All the time from there it would play on my mind constantly until December I noticed they were still talking and, admittedly I know I did wrong, but I did look at the messages and was heartbroken by what I saw. My bf said things like “I couldn’t imagine anything better than being your bf” as well as he had arranged to meet him at the Christmas markets, despite the fact we were together in the same hotel room that night. This really destroyed me and I think it’s been from here my depression and anxiety has gotten worse. But anyway, a few days after that he told me he would remove Boy X, I was happy for him to do this and for us to move on. However now I have seen they have reconnected and he has continued his flirtatious and romantic relationship or conversations however you can define this, and I have brought this up as an issue again but my bf is saying he wont stop or remove him, he has seen how much this has broken my heart and the pain it is putting me through but he says that we should be able to coexist. I placed this boundary down and he hasn’t respected it, I have told him I am not going to compete for love and if he can’t respect that he has to choose between me or him. It has affected me so much I feel like I haven’t been able to breathe, my chest feels tight, my body aches and I feel so sick, and scared and alone, and I have been struggling to concentrate on my tasks at uni, I had to leave early. He told me he would make Boy X aware that he is in a relationship, because at the moment he is not aware, however today I have asked him if he has dealt with it, as I want to try to move on and he has said he has not. To me that just tells me he cares more about how he feels than I do, and that I am less important than him.
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TL;DR, OP bf has been secretly messaging someone else in a flirty and romantic way again after saying he would remove them and it was done with