Hi guys! I’ve been on a couple dates with this really great (but really busy) guy. He’s in the career I am working towards, so I am very understanding about the time commitment. Things were going great, in fact he started talking about how he is serious about the future, and I asked to take it slow since I am still developing my career. He recently had an opportunity to further his career, and sat me down and talked to me about it first to consider my feelings to this even bigger time commitment he will have. I was super excited for him! Well, we usually don’t text as we are super busy, so we call each other every other day or so. Last week, I noticed I called first each time, but he was equally as excited to chat with me. I mentioned it at the end of the week, that it made me start questioning if he was still interested or not. He made such a big effort after that, and I can’t believe he actually listened! A few days ago he called, and we chatted for hours as normal. I then said, “hey, I noticed the huge amount of effort you put in this week, thank you for actually listening to me” and he then told me he thought a lot this week and he felt that me wondering about us may have hurt me/distracted me from school and he just wants to support me through this time because he knows how hard it can be. He told me he wants to be friends for now, until he finishes this step in his career but he also said he cannot ask me to wait, but he’d hope we continue on like normal and dont talk to other people, but he wont ask that of me. I told him I needed time to think about it.
Honestly I am the last person to trust someone based off my past, but I trust this guy a ton because his actions constantly follow through from his words. The way he cares about me is very noticeable, and he kept saying he is doing this for me so that he doesn’t half ass our relationship and when he starts it, he wants to give me his all. I’m honestly fine being friends for now because I just wanna get to know each other more and also do this the right way because I want it long term too, but I think he missed the point of me saying I just felt anxious when he didnt reach out. He felt like he was hurting me and wanted to give me a more clear answer. he also said friends is the last thing he wants, but its better than me wondering all week what we are. Again, I did not wonder what we were, just felt like he was ghosting a little that week. I was fine with getting to know each other and going the pace we were as we are both busy people. I took the weekend to think, but he’s been texting & calling like normal because he knew what I had going on this Weekend. I did mention that I may not be able to be friends because of my feelings, and he said he cant just stop talking to me.
I first felt he just did not want to be with me, but he has explained every single detail of what is taking away his time right now from being in a relationship and I honestly get it and believe it. My question isn’t, “is he playing me”. Our bond is pretty special. He’s also 10 years older than me, so I have noticed his communication and intentions are much clearer than dating within my age range. We are meeting up tomorrow. My question is this: Should I…
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A). tell him I am fine being friends (I feel this is a good way for us to continue just knowing each other without any pressure, plus its what he wants and he respected me for wanting to go slow for a while)
B). Cut communication (I feel even more anxious now than I did the week he did not initiate!)
C). Try to explain again that I did not ask for a title, I just wanted him to reach out more, and I’d like to go back to where we were, just getting to know each other without the relationship expectations (I explained this to him already via phone, he listened but he kept saying he has to do this right with me and thinks its hurting me not knowing what we are when he’s busy)
D). your advice?