Some time ago we had broke up. I had gone through his phone and found out that he had an active premium subscription to hinge. he was forced to admit that he had gone on a date during a time we were separated. This shattered me. He had broken my trust countless times before this. Doing things like presenting himself as single to impress his friends, getting girls numbers, talking to his ex. I thought that was all behind us at this point. So I yelled at him and kicked him out.
Shortly after, I began to have second thoughts about breaking up and felt bad for getting so angry. He didn’t want to hear it. He had grown tired of my angry reactions and me kicking him out. After finally getting him to come around to taking, we met up at a bar he had been at with his friends. He was giving me a ride home when I saw he had multiple dating apps on his Home Screen. So I said that I had gone on a date. I wanted him to feel as hurt as I did. I’d never actually do it, but I knew saying it would be enough to hurt him. We had, had many conversations in the past where he admitted if the shoes were reversed, he’d never forgive me if I were to treat him how he has treated me.
**TL;DR;Once he had dropped me off we began arguing. He had called me all kinds of nasty names. Even attacked my family and made fun of my self harm from when I was a teenager. I sat there and I just let him keep going. Didn’t say a word, even started recording the night so he can see what he was saying to me when he sobered up. Then he said in grave detail, that he had cheated on me with his ex and a girl that lives across the street from my building. His exact words were “that’s why I came in a b** across the street then laid up with you right after”. In retaliation, I said I cheated on him. I knew it’d hurt him. I knew just saying that would make him feel an inch of the pain he has caused me. We were both drunk and clearly trying to hurt each others feelings. Later that same night I admitted I was lying about cheating on him and that he just exposed what he’s been hiding. (You can hear me say I made it up to see what he’d say in the video from the night). That night was nothing else but a toxic shit show.
The truth is, I’d never cheated. In fact, I’d never cheated in my life. I don’t understand why people cheat. I find it to be one of the worse things you can do to another person. I look down on cheaters. My parents have never cheated or had any infidelity, my friends have never cheated. I have never cheated. He knows all of this. He knows my daily activities. He knows I’m a simple girl with few friends who rarely goes out. He knows I’m extremely introverted. I have catered to all his trauma and past trust issues (no male friends, looking down at the ground when we are around any guy, answering his calls right away, hanging out even when I didn’t want to, reducing the amount of travel I do without him, etc.). He has low trust in women in general due to his childhood trauma. I was empathic.
Some time goes by and we talked about that night and apologized. I believed him when he said he was lying about the cheating and only said so out of anger, at least I thought I could believe him because that is exactly what I did. I had no problem dropping it because I knew I only said those things to hurt his feelings, not because they were true.
He has made me pay since that night. He has been convinced that I cheated simply because of that night. I have spent so much time trying to exonerate myself. He already had the password to my phone but I offered for him to go through my messages and social media. I have offered to take a poly graph. I have offered to reach out to any friends or family of mine ( of his choice) and ask them if I have cheated. I’ve offered to call my telephone provider to get a log of all my calls since we’ve know each other. I’ve offered to go through any day and find evidence of my whereabouts for that day. I’ve offered to request all my past visitors from my leasing office. Credit card statements, Uber receipts, ANYTHING to calm his paranoia. I’ve even offered he stay logged into my iMessage and social media on his own phone. That I would get a ring camera that only he can access. That we can download my location history and go through anything he had questions about. He doesn’t want to hear it. At this point I’m looking for any ideas on how else I can prove my innocence. I’m not even asking to save the relationship, frankly I don’t believe I deserve this. I just want the character defamation to end. Any suggestions at all are welcomed.