Ok so this is quite hard to explain my side of, but
I was out with two of my friends last night (19M, 18F). My girlfriend (of only 2 weeks) was also out with her friend (21F). We originally went to different nightclubs because we were both having nights with our friends. She told me she’d leave me alone the whole night so I could have fun with my friends and I told her the same. She ended up calling me a few times and that was fine for me cause she was just stressed about things and I was fine to make sure she was okay.
However, we ended up switching clubs and then we were in the same one, as one of my friends didn’t like the original one we were in and we wanted the whole group to be enjoying it.
My girlfriend phoned me and asked me to come see her for a second, so I said that’s okay and I went to see her in the smoking area. Her friend then gave her her stuff and left her with me, going away for a while. However, my girlfriend ended up quite drunk as she’d had a bit too much (she was okay, just a bit spinny) and just laid down on me for a while, so I called her friend (21F) to come get her and take her home (after I offered to take her inside to get her water or to walk her back to her flat, which was around a 10 minute walk away, she kept saying yes to this but then said she wanted to sit a few more minutes over and over). Her friend took around half an hour to get there as she’d walked off and gone to her boyfriend’s flat. Even when she got back, my girlfriend refused to go with her and kept hugging into me and asking me to kiss her and I was just trying to enjoy my night with my friends, and she knew this. I ended up sitting with her for an hour and a half (1:30-3, the place closed at 3) as she was refusing to let me help her and just wanted to sit there with me, when I was meant to be with my friends for the night. We eventually managed to get her up a little while before the end but she kept hugging me and wouldn’t even let me leave to go use the bathroom (I’d told her a few times I really needed to). I just felt really trapped and uncomfortable and afterwards I had the worst panic attack I’ve ever had as it was just too much for me, and now I’m not sure what to do about whole situation.
A similar situation has happened before where she called me when I was out with my friends, and she promised then that it would never happen again.
This was also the only night with these friends I was going to get this week, and my girlfriend knew that, plus I was going to hers to hang out with her the next day but she continued to cling to me.
If I’d been out with her and this had happened I wouldn’t have minded but it’s just the fact I was out with my friends I feel like this wasn’t great of her to do. I feel bad because she was really drunk but she was still okay enough to speak to me and to walk and stuff she was just feeling a bit off. And we’ve not been dating that long, only a few weeks so it feels weird to me that she’s relying on me this much already, especially when she’s out with her friend.
I’m not really sure what to do now.
TL;DR: my girlfriend was quite drunk and refused to let me help her or go with her friend when I saw her during a night out with my friends.
8 comments
>A similar situation has happened before where she called me when I was out with my friends, and she promised then that it would never happen again.
So you’ve been dating for two weeks and you’ve already had two occasions where she’s basically dictating what you can and can’t do, to the extent that you’re not even ‘allowed’ to go to the bathroom, because you’re supposed to be doing as she requires?
That would be enough for me, tbh. Fool me twice and all that.
But if you want to continue this… You need to tell her about the panic attack and how bad you felt and all the rest of it, and that if it ever happens again, you’re gone.
I would end it, she’s got issues and it’s only been 2 weeks.
It’s not hard to explain your side of it at all, your side makes complete sense.
It’s been two weeks and she’s already thrown two different manipulative fits to get what she wants; which is unfortunately to punish you for going out with the lads, and make it as shitty for you as she can.
Obviously you value time with your friends/to yourself(as you should, especially at your age) and she’s shown you very clearly, very early in your relationship that she’s not keen to allow this.
IMO girls her age(and I say this as someone who has been a girl her age with friends like her) are not want to change this sort of behavior anytime soon, or maybe ever.
Was she blackout? When blackout drunk u can walk and talk and do things but they won’t be “recorded”.
If u don’t think she’s worth getting to know better based on a few drunken incidents maybe just tell her u want to be friends or break up. Maybe u should try to ask her why she got so drunk nd clingy. Does she remember anything?
She may not be the ultimate ,ideal ,super , telepathic girl ( which is a rarity) but these things happen. Honestly, it’s not a huge deal unless it is recurring a lot of times.
It’s a new relationship and she is perhaps into you so what do you expect.and you guys are so young.
Maybe you are not into her as much as she is into you.
But yes, if it happens all the time like she distances you from your close ones, then its a red flag.
Good luck.
I think if it’s already happened twice, and you’re turned off and a little annoyed by what’s she’s doing (which I completely understand), then I would think about ending it soon. If she were a girl you were really into, I think you’d be making more excuses as to why what she did was not that bad, or honestly you wouldn’t have posted this. It bothered you, we can all see why, so my advice would be to break up before it becomes a pattern.
However, if you want to talk to her to maybe sort things out, just be completely honest. Tell her it made you uncomfortable, so much so that you had a panic attack, and that you should not be responsible for babysitting her every time. Getting drunk like that when you’ve only been together for 2 weeks is a little worrying.
Anyway, I hope it works out in the way that you’d like. Good luck 🙂
You two are so young and there is a lot of immaturity (no offense, just reality) at play. In a healthy relationship none of this would be an issue. She’s insecure to go out separately and is feeling clingy. She doesn’t want to say it and wants to give you space but as soon as she’s drunk she’s calling you and needy. You are wanting space and not amused with / embarrassed by her drunk behavior. You are young to be in a serious relationship and you should both just be having fun and getting to know yourselves better before you commit to someone.
It’s two weeks and it seems like you are not into her that much since her hanging out with you and your friends is that big issue while being in sane club.