I don’t care anymore! I’ve tried to be the guy that shows up and cares about all the goings ons. The leader, the friend. I wanted to help people and create something real. I wanted to work with my hands, tools and create something….
But seems God has other plans. I’ve tried to get a trade for a good 10yrs now,Im done. I’m too stupid. So, guess I get to be a miserable Oil and Gas worker.
I said that I was an Oil and Gas worker the other days and someone asked me if I was bragging? Bragging? I’m single lonely and depressed. I work with the most toxic people imaginable. It’s either feast or famine. I quit for a fkn month and couldn’t find a decent apprenticeship in ALL OF CANADA. So I’m inclined to keep working this job. The only fun part is how vocal I am that it’s not my fave thing in the world,Im done pretending I give a fuck. Do I do the job well? Yes. Am I becoming an alcoholic? Yes
Anyone else just “Let Go?” I’m finding it easier.
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I was in a similar position.
1. Stop drinking.
2. Stop spending your money on anything.
3. Save everything you can for a few months.
4. Get enrolled at a trades school.
5. Quit your job and work your ass off at your trades school, its not that hard you just have to actually try.
6. Make sure to talk to your advisors at the school they will help you navigate everything.
7. Get a new job doing what you actually enjoy.
Its absolutely possible, its just really hard. There are very welp established trades that are never going to not need workers because human infrastructure requires them no matter what.
u/niya-apihtawikosisan nailed it. Like them I did basically step one to step seven. It’s achievable, it’s just takes a lot of fucking discipline. To be honest discipline I didn’t think I had yet here I am on the other side. Go for it.
I don’t think you’re actually finding it easier.
You only looked for an apprenticeship for a month? The others are right. Quit drinking. That doesn’t make the situation better. It just temporarily numbs you. Get therapy. And keep trying. It’s taken me months to get jobs. You only blame God because you’re not willing to take responsibility for your own actions and putting the blame on something else shifts off the responsibility you don’t want to put on yourself and make yourself feel better. It’s only seems easier because you’re not trying anymore. Get over yourself. Life is not worth giving up on something you actually want to do. Never give up on yourself. If you give up on yourself, then you have nothing left. Keep going and never give up. Life is worth living, but you have to set your sights on what you truly want out of it.
hey at least you’re not like me
indebted, low income, no prospects, physically unattractive to most people in an incurable way, inherited mental illnesses that have driven me insane (The simplest way to put it here).
The only thing left keeping me alive is a strange and unspeakable burning hatred in my brain for life itself, which drives me further to isolation.
If you could see inside my head or take a single step in my shoes, you’d go back to your life eternally grateful for life, and for not being me.
Shit, i don’t even have an addictive drug habit; i never could find one that would drive me to the end
There are different variations of “letting go”.
What you describe is a cynical and nihilistic variation. You sound more like you’ve *given up*. No doubt leading to the iconic self destructive behavior of any of your favorite nihilistic humans.
Another variation of letting go is cathartic or freeing, leading to a softened viewpoint of the world and subsequently a more compassionate stance including self compassion.
For what it’s worth I’ve been there, just food for thought.
> “An I becoming an alcoholic? Yes”
There is good advice here but this is pretty important.
I have a high paying office job. A wife. Kids. A nice house in a nice town.
When I was drinking and smoking weed, I also wanted to give up and was depressed. It’s not like I was drinking during the day or getting blackout drink all the time either. I was just drinking every night, and drinking too much.
Cut that out and guess what? Things felt a lot better. I was able to do more. I made changes.
I get your environment is toxic but others gave some good advice on how to charge that. Change the drinking and all of that will be easier.
K
I don’t know if this will help but I was recently speaking with someone going through training to become an Air Traffic Controller. I asked him about how he started doing that and he said there’s only one company in Canada that trains you to do it and all you have to do to be eligible is be a Canadian citizen, have good communication and problem solving skills.
I just googled it and… yup. They pay you for training and are always looking for people. Maybe something you’d be interested in trying out?
https://www.navcanada.ca/en/careers/air-traffic-controller.aspx
Stop blaming some fairy tale in the sky for your short comings and quit telling yourself you’re too dumb, you’re just sabotaging yourself. If there’s a test to pass you gotta study your ass off, no other way. Go to where there are jobs. Quit drinking and making excuses.
Are you me?
Pendulum just swinging too far. There’s a lot of space between “I can do anything” and “I can’t do anything”.
I would say “let go” for a month or 3 ..except quit drinking cos that shit will take you down.
We all need a reset once in a while.
There is nobility in every job that is necessary to keep the lights on and food on people’s table. Yours is one of those. That society has seen fit to forget that is no indictment on you. Thank you for what you do and I hope you figure out how to forge your path towards happiness.