What has your experience been like dating someone who’s poor?

13 comments

1. What do you class as poor? No income? No left over money after expenses have gone out of income? The way they live?

2. When my partner and I started dating, he had been laid off for a few months and started his own businesses. He could cover his necessities (housing, food, car) but that was it. I honestly don’t care. I make my own money. If we wanted to go out to a nice dinner? I paid for it. I didn’t care that he couldn’t buy me a nice gift for my birthday or Christmas. He would get me something inexpensive or thoughtful.

   Poor honestly doesn’t matter. Can you take care of your business? Do you treat me like an equal? We’re good.

3. me and my partner were both poor when we started dating. i let him take my car to sleep in because i was able to stay with my grandpa. after a couple months we moved states and saved up for an apartment. we eventually moved back to our home state and we are making more money than any of my family. 🥲

4. In my experience I felt weighed down by their financial problems and helped them multiple times. In hindsight I regret spending the money. I should’ve let them work through it themselves. It sucks to watch someone you care about struggle though.

5. It’s been pleasant for me. Like the only difference has been usually going on dates where you don’t spend money (like hanging out at a park or the beach).

6. Poor people can be nice people. I don’t really understand the question

7. Depends. I dated one guy who legitimately could not support himself. I wound up paying his rent (for one room in a house in a cheap town, so it was like maybe $250) just because I felt bad for him once, but after that I kind of had an idea that if I stayed with him it would keep happening. That I’m not going to do again.

   But I definitely dated guys who were “poor” but also employed just at low wages. That worked out just fine because I am cheap af so going out to less “nice” places most of the time was totally fine with me.

8. This can be seen a few ways… And really I think it depends on the reasons behind it, there’s so much more to the question.

   Poor (and not willing to try change that) but rich lifestyle and wanting you as their partner to cover things, I’m not cool with but in my early 20s did it a few times due to my own insecurities.

   Poor because they are trying hard to pay off debts/save money for a more stable future. Thats different.

   For me it comes down to, do they still put into the relationship/dating emotionally, think up great dates that are inexpensive but give you great chances to spend time together.

   Also their expectations from you. I’ve dated guys who admitted they were skint but didn’t want me to cover things yet we always had great days out and made nice meals and things together and others who just expected me to cover it cause they couldn’t.

9. It sucks honestly. My ex worked but he was barely scraping by. He lived pay check to paycheck so whenever anything big came up I had to help him out financially. For example, his car broke down several times and I had to pay to fix it or he wouldn’t be able to get to work. I eventually helped him buy a newer car that he was supposed to pay me back for but never did.

   I also paid for all of our vacations and for the majority of our entertainment. If I didn’t pay we wouldn’t go anywhere and I like to do nice things. It eventually caused a lot of resentment on my end and insecurity on his. It’s one of the main reasons he’s my ex.

   I would never date someone that wasn’t at least close to being on the same level as me financially now. He doesn’t have to be rich but he does have to be self-sufficient and be able to pay his own way and treat me sometimes.

10. My ex fiance grew up poor. Poor that makes you think the world is even more disgusting than it is. He grew up in a trailer with 5 family members, and their toilet was a bucket outside that grew mushrooms on it. That is just the beginning. I think our expectations from life because of our financial upbringings are what tore us apart. I decided I wanted to graduate college and travel, he was fine staying at a job that paid him a dollar above minimum wage and having a place he could stay. After all, that was more than he had ever had in the first place. If being with him taught me anything, it’s that everyone needs to be more understanding of other peoples’ decisions. I love him, and I respect his decisions. I think no less of him. He is incredibly happy now. He brought me back down to earth and reality.

11. Someone is going to be pissed. I’m ready and give very few Fs in general.

    If I begin speaking with a male (I’m hetero female) and I suggest meeting for a drink or something super basic and I get a response like I’m waiting for my social security approval. I need to get my mom’s car keys, or the counter off of a walk a park.

    My senses are activated and I’m no longer interested.

    If a $5 miller lite is financially tough then this isn’t going to work.

    I just say I don’t think this is meant to be and move on.

12. It’s not the economic status that matters but the ambition and expectation for one’s future that must match, otherwise you get stuck with someone who inevitably will just manipulate for money, even if they don’t realize they’re doing it.

13. We were young and poor together. So it was fine.

    Would I date someone financially unstable at 49? Nope.