Is possible to stop being shy and get more self-confident without therapy?

8 comments

1. I’m not going to say it’s impossible but it would be like writing a book report when you haven’t read the book.

2. I did it. I believe firmly in “fake it till you make it.” I watched how other people conducted themselves, and I pushed myself to try harder. Like, I used to walk down this long hallway at work, and when passing another person, they’d initiate a, “Hi, how are you today?” I somehow always felt embarrassed by that, so I made it a goal to smile and beat them to the punch by being the first to ask how they were doing. That practice really helped me overcome a lot of my social anxiety because I felt more in control of the situation.

3. Yes!
   I did a course of how to speak in public and theater class. I was very shy, nowadays I go out and make my friends be embarrassed and sometimes I hear that someone wants me to shut up 😅. Of course there are times that I stay on my own and stay reserved. I even go out to alone to every where if I don’t find company, even open bars.
   So is just to find something related to developing yourself that can be affordable to you.

4. It’s possible but a bit harder and a lot of more effort.

   A starting point would be to “research” how people usually get more confidence, what the specialist recommend or how other people got their confidence. After that explore and experiment what fits you best. Be curious and dont stop if something doesnt work.

   Everybody can get more confident, it all starts with a small spark. 🌸

5. I just made a [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/Crushes/comments/up8f10/a_guys_guide_on_how_to_not_get_nervous/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) about that! Someone said that they’ve been doing it for 3 weeks and it really works. I’d recommend checking it out, as it helped me overcome my social anxiety.

6. I’m a firm believer that you cannot, if the cause is something that people get therapy for in the first place. A big part of therapy is having another perspective.

7. Yup, absolutely. The caveat is that it requires you to jump the initial hurdle of even **truly wanting** to change, which is where most people will struggle. As you might expect, paying for therapy will help you with that step, but even then, the rest of it is up to you.

   Your post suggests that you’re looking for advice on how to go about that. I’m not a therapist, but I think some advice is ubiquitous when it comes to therapy. So I’ll tell you what I did. The first thing I ever did was to write down how I was feeling when I was frustrated. And I questioned myself. Why was that? Were those feelings reasonable? Is there something that I’m not factoring in when I’m being upset at this person? And so on and so forth. Those thoughts branched into countless other ideas, and have helped me achieve clarity in my mind. About myself, and about the world around me. Fluency in social settings is more of a by-product of that rather than the final goal. As a side note, writing also helps with your articulation. You have all the time in the world to think of the word or phrase you’re looking for, and with practice, those strings of thoughts will come up with higher frequency as time goes on.

   The primary source of negativity is ignorance (and the ignorance of ignorance). Ignorance of yourself, ignorance of others. But if you try to understand something, sometimes you can come up with answers which clears that prejudice in your mind. Other times, you won’t find an answer, but that’s just part of accepting your ignorance, which ironically makes you less ignorant. And when you can accept that, you’ll be a happier, more confident, open-minded person.

   Godspeed.

8. Get out there and talk to people and get rejections it will give reference experience and it will grow gour confidence