Husband wants his old life back?

Me and my husband have been married for a year and I kept getting this feeling that he isn’t happy. And he hasn’t been. He told me tonight that he wants his old life back before he got married. He told me he doesn’t want to be a dad, he doesn’t want to be a husband and he wants his freedom back. (They are his step children he has a son of his own he doesn’t see or talk too). He told me he had a million second thoughts before marrying me and just ignored them. Said that he just liked not being alone when I came in the picture and went along with everything. He told me he often thinks of a life alone and feels this way about half the time. We have had so many arguments, trust broken on both sides (not cheating but him using his methadone improperly, lying to me, hiding money, buying extra doses behind my back, and I have went on dating apps but only ever to talk to women and never actually do because I feel bad and delete it, and more). We have virtually no sex life(due to methadone maintenance that he has to take to remain sober but he overuses that a lot). He told me tonight that basically he doesn’t want the life he signed up for with me and he is unhappy most of the time.. Then tells me on the other hand two seconds later he loves me, doesn’t want a life without me or the kids and can’t live without me. He says he loves the kids. I’m so confused. He told me so many things tonight that have me questioning if I should even stay, he said that he was thinking of finishing the lease with me and then asking for divorce so that he can get a smaller place with his voucher.. he’s always been on public assistance and doesn’t want off it. He wants to remain on it forever and I have aspirations. I wanna make something of my self and work a good job and make good money. I wanna provide for my family. He doesn’t. I told him I feel like me and the kids are a burden and that he gets unhappy because he resents me for marrying me and having to have this life now and he said he does resent me and does feel like I am a burden. We have no intimacy, when I try to touch him or he lovey he pulls away or gets upset with me. We only snuggle at night when he wants too and never ever have any sexual contact with one another. We’re going on month 3 right now of NO sexual intimacy or even non sexual intimacy. He doesn’t like not having his freedom and being able to do whatever he wants when he wants. I don’t know what to do. I’m heart broken. We have fought since we got together, always. I have my own mental health issues and so does he on top of his addiction struggle. He is a bit of a narcissist and has bipolar. I have BPD and bipolar. Were both taking medication now. He says he wants to wait on divorce or separation until he sees if the medicine makes him happier and not feel the way he does with us. He is acting like everything is fine now that it’s been a few hours which he always does after he says anything like this(it’s not the first time) and then becomes unhappy again. I am so lost.. this would be my second divorce in 2 years.. my poor babies.. if we decide to split I’m going to stay single I cannot go through this again… I’m only 26. I don’t know what to do. I have 3 children relying on me to make the right choices. It’s not fair to them to be somewhere they aren’t 100% wanted.. or me.