Howdy y’all. So I’ve run into a problem I never thought I’d have. For the first time in my life I feel I have a real say in the bedroom and I’m finding myself at a complete loss. My entire sexual life (past 3 or so years) I’ve always focused on what my partner wanted. My only goal was to satisfy them and try to get my own in during or after the fact. But now that I’m in a healthier state of mind and healthier relationship, I don’t know what to do. Sex isn’t all about making the other feel good and when prompted by my partner “what do you want” I genuinely don’t know how to answer.
Sure I know what gets me off, but not what really satisfies me. A nut is a nut is a nut. Big deal y’know? But I don’t just want to nut, because if that’s the goal I’d just masturbate. But with another partner it changes completely. Essentially we’re stuck in a “what do you want?” “Whatever makes you happy” “what makes me happy is seeing you have fun” etc etc. It’s created a loop where I just feel…. Lost. I know how to satisfy someone else but not myself.
If anybody has input or comments it’d be much appreciated.