tl;dr : my LDR bf (25m) and i (22f) had plans for valentines day that fell short because he didn’t plan his day better. he says he’ll do better in the future, but i still feel like shit about the whole thing.
hi all. first time posting here, or anything like this for that matter. i guess i’m looking for some advice, or what you would do in this situation
i (22f) am in a relationship with bf (25m) and have been for around a year. we live in different countries, but only about a seven hour drive away. he’s an amazing guy, but he’s terrible at planning.
basically, i told him i wanted to do something special for valentines day, because our last valentines day consisted of a 20 minute phone call and a gift he sent via the mail that never came. so, we planned a nice date. we were both gonna get meals to eat together, and then play some video games. doesn’t sound like much, but it’s what we love. yesterday, he told me that he would only be able to do our date for around an hour and a half/two hours because he has an exam the next day that he needs to study for. Ok, fine. not a big deal. but, he woke up at 3 pm today. usually it’s not an issue when he sleeps in like that, but with our date, him going to mass (ash wednesday, of course), and having to study is just way too much. i told him the first time he called tonight, if he wanted to reschedule we could. he was adamant that he would have time tonight.
he only got home from mass at around 7:30. he then spent the next two hours doing a quiz (who knows what else, he didn’t keep me updated) and then finally called at 9:15. at this point, i was pissed. i’d already eaten my meal because i was hungry, and really just wasn’t in a good mood to have a date. i tell him we should postpone, and he’s all “but you’re going to hold this against me afterwords”. which like, how can i not? this isnt even the first time he’s done this. another quick example is one time that we were supposed to play a video game together all day, and he specifically told me to clear my calendar for the day. well, after waiting around starting at 10 am, he’s finally ready at like 8 pm because he had a bunch of homework to do.
i can 100% acknowledge that he’s busy. school and work definitely come priority over spending time with me. the part that get’s me upset is that he doesnt bother updating me about his timing, or still insists that there’d BE enough time, but squeezing a valentines date in 45 minutes is not “enough time”.
i don’t know, i’m so upset. he knows i’m upset, and feels like an asshole. he’s apologized several times and said that he will be better with texting me his plans more and scheduling himself better, but i don’t know. it doesnt sit right with me. it’s so hard to stay optimistic in a long distance relationship when he’s terrible at communication via the only form of communication we have.
the thought of breaking up came across my mind today, but i dont know. it seems too extreme. he said he’ll do better, and every time a conversation comes along where i tell him he did something that upsets me, he does change.
i just don’t know what to do. i hate sitting here and crying and feeling bad about myself, but i’m not sure what else to do