We’ve been together for 1.5 years. I planned a lowkey Valentine’s dinner to go with a couple of small gifts and a card. I was excited for what we had planned and it was a very nice, romantic night.
When we got back from dinner, she opened her gifts. She was happy, hugged me and asked, “Are you sad I didn’t get you anything?” I shrugged and said it was okay. That wasn’t the time or place to pick at it, so I shelved my feelings and planned to communicate my feelings today.
So, I did, and I was polite in how I asked. I just wanted to know why she didn’t put any effort into getting me a card or a note or something small. It’s the gesture that means a lot to me, you know? She said sorry and then added, “I don’t know why I didn’t.” Her response made me sad so I walked away to do dishes and clear my head.
Once we talked more, she got flustered and kept repeating how she doesn’t see why it’s “such a big deal” that she didn’t get me even a card or a note or candy. I don’t expect a gift, I just wanted her to make some kind of gesture. I told her that! In her words, she does enough through the year that not getting me anything for one day means very little.
The more I tried to just explain why it made me sad, the angrier she got. In fact, she left to clear her head and drive for about 30 minutes. I’ve never seen her do that before tonight.
Anyways, I’m sad about the way she responded. All I was trying to do was calmly communicate my feelings and it felt like she disregarded them.
TL;DR Girlfriend became upset with me after I asked her why she didn’t do any sort of gesture for me on Valentine’s Day. It turned into a fight and now I’m left feeling worse about it.