This might be a long post with a scattered brain so I apologize in advance. I just need to know if these things are normal or if there’s something odd going on in my almost 2 year relationship. I’II be giving a couple of examples of things my boyfriend does and any advice would be nice. To start off, he’s told be before that being intimate together is when he feels most connected to me, and loved. I have told him from the beginning that my sex drive is low, but it hasn’t been a problem. First situation, l’ve been sick with something minor that has me using the washroom more often, and due to this we haven’t been intimate in about a week. So recently we hung out on his days off and celebrated Valentine’s Day by just watching movies and being together. I mentioned to him that lately with my sickness he’s been more distant with his physical touch which is unusual for him and I wasn’t trying to point fingers or put the blame solely on him. He then begins to tell me it’s a two way street and that I just lay there as well. Now my first concern is that when I bring things up, he often has to counter it with another point that feels like he’s putting the blame on me for why it occurs. And in this case I told him I didn’t realize because I have been doing more of the small things (rubbing this chest, touching him, or rubbing his head) to help compensate for the lack of intimacy. So it was as tho he brought it up to make it seem like I also wasn’t helping the situation.
Second, he gives almost back handed compliments to me, for example recently he’s said that he’s been really enjoying our time together even tho we haven’t had sex. I’m not sure if I’m just over thinking it but in my head he could have just stopped at it’s been nice hanging out and not including the intimacy part because I know we haven’t. He does this sometimes with even other compliments like wow you look pretty even with your breakouts.
Lastly, I feel as tho he doesn’t have a similar expectation of physical touch like I do, or he has unrealistic ideas. For instance, my sickness im running to the bathroom and he pours if I don’t give him a kiss before I go, as if my mind needs to think of him before I do anything else. We kiss a lot, it’s not my favourite thing or on my mind a whole lot, but like every time I move it seems as if I’m terrible for not giving him a quick peck. I enjoy it but i don’t need to do it multiple times an hour is my point there
Honestly I’m not sure what I want out of this post, a rant is always nice but if you have any comments I’d love to read or further explain
Tor: boyfriend relies on intimacy to feel connected and feels distant when we aren’t, he gives odd compliments and often diverts the conversation to make me feel as tho I’m the problem in it all