TL/DR: This girl I have been chatting with for a while often ghosts me/cancels our plans, but always comes back with an excuse and shows interest in chatting with me again. What the hell does she want? Honestly, I have never been in this kind of situation before.
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Story (I’ll try to shorten this the best I can, sorry for grammar errors):
There’s a girl I have known since high school, we weren’t best friends, but we talked every once and a while, and we got along quite well. At the time, I was completely oblivious to signs any girl gave me, but since then I improved a lot, and looking back, I think she was into me.
I started messaging her some time ago, and I was surprised she messaged back, and we started a convo. One day, I messaged her, nothing unusual, but she didn’t respond. I thought that she might be busy, so I waited. 3 days passed and nothing, so I messaged again asking if everything was ok. She replied: “Yes, why?”, and I questioned why didn’t she replied for the past few days, she only said: “Oh, I didn’t see”. We stopped talking for a while, until one day she messaged me again, and started all over again, until I asked her out. Again, I got ghosted, but this time I didn’t go after her.
2 days ago, I was just leaving college, when we bumped into each other. She seemed genuinely happy to see me and got me confused. We talked for a bit and went separate ways. When I got home, I see that she started messaging me again. After another short conversation, we agreed to meet at the college cafeteria to eat something and catch up a bit, maybe even hang out. But she never showed up
I messaged her and went on with my classes and my usual activities at the college. By the end of the classes, she didn’t even see my message. Later, she messaged me saying sorry, and she was a little bit busy.
Honestly, I don’t know what is happening to this girl. In the beginning, I was really looking forward to hanging out with her, it’s nice to talk with her, plus, she is very pretty and very intelligent, but I have never been in this situation before, where the person ghosts you, but come back wanting to talk to you again.
I don’t feel sad or angry, I have other things to busy my mind with and other people to talk to, and honestly, if this girl truly wants to hang out with me any day, I would go, no hard feeling, it just seems very strange to me.
If this is too long, I’m sorry and would be happy to provide any more details. I don’t even know if this would be the right sub to ask for this kind of advice. Would gladly remove it if it needs. Thanks for reading
6 comments
I mean she’s just playing with you honestly.
Just move on from her
After only reading the TL:DR, she is most likely keeping you around for when she won’t be able to fix things with other guys. I would ditch.
There are girls who deserve your time and attention because they find you attractive. Go find one.
She’s not that into you. You are just an option to her. Treat her the same. Move on. Plenty of girls out there. If she wants you, you tell her when and where you’ll be, doing your own thing, and she’s welcome to join. If she doesn’t show up, youre still doing your own thing.
I guess in the moment, when running into each other in real life, it feels nice and right to agree to a meet up. No confrontation right then and there. The other person wants to hear a yes, so there it is. Or even being the first to suggest a meet up. That looks even more positive. Then in the online world, the rest can be sorted out just by ghosting.
You’re just one of the balls she’s juggling. She’ll hit you up when it works for her.