sorry this is gonna be a long post
my boyfriend and i just recently celebrated our 1 year together, and so far it has been a fantastic relationship. it’s both of ours first serious relationship but we are both so happy with eachother and there hasn’t been a conflict yet that we couldn’t fix by talking to each other. this time of year is hectic for us because from november-february, we have nonstop celebrations (between holidays, our birthdays, anniversary, and valentine’s day).
our anniversary was last week, and a few weeks prior i texted him and suggested we do actual gifts for our anniversary and small things like candy for valentine’s day instead of big gifts for both. he agreed, and he did get me a gift and flowers for our anniversary and paid for our dinner. our plan was to spend valentine’s day together at his place and he’d cook us dinner. i got him two of his favorite candies and a card, nothing crazy, and i brought some wine and dessert over to accompany the dinner he was making.
he didn’t end up getting me anything for valentine’s day, no card or chocolate or anything. when i gave him his gifts he was genuinely very apologetic and i could tell he felt bad. i told him i wasn’t upset at him, just disappointed, and he said he understood and just kept telling me how sorry he was, and i genuinely believe that he does feel bad about it. i feel almost guilty for being disappointed considering he cooked dinner for us and we had other activities planned and things to do, and just the week before was our anniversary, but at the same time i thought we had agreed to do small things for valentine’s day.
he can be a very forgetful person, especially when it comes to things said in text messages, so i want to give him the benefit of the doubt when it comes to that. i truly believe he loves me and he shows up for me in so many other ways, and i’ve realized over the course of our year being together that his gift giving probably isn’t one of his love languages while it’s one of my top ones. im just feeling sad and i feel bad for being so materialistic, especially since he put in effort for valentine’s day in other ways, but i’m disappointed that he didn’t at least get a $2 chocolate or something. im especially confused because last year for valentine’s day he got me something. we’d only been seeing eachother for 2 months and officially dating for a week at that point, but he got me flowers, chocolate, and a card. i don’t want to believe he intentionally didn’t get me anything and i know this doesn’t mean he loves me any less, but my anxiety just took over and i started overthinking everything about our relationship when he didn’t get me anything and it makes me feel terrible.
i don’t know if it’s wrong of me to feel bad about the lack of a gift considering he did other things for me and it’s been a very gift heavy last few months for us. should i let it go or should i communicate with him further about this and my expectations? i’m just struggling with my reaction to the situation and understanding whether or not it’s actually that big of a deal, and whether or not i should say something to him beyond just telling him i was disappointed by it.
TLDR: boyfriend didn’t get me anything for valentine’s day this year, but we spent the day together and he cooked us dinner, and our anniversary was just a week prior. am i wrong for being disappointed by the lack of even a card or a $2 chocolate?