I[18/f] have a boyfriend[20/m] and my mother[54/f] hates him. When I tell her that I’m going on a date with him she always gets upset. So I decided to lie to her, and tell her when I’m with him that I’m with my friends. Yesterday she caught me lying, and she told me that since I lied I have no reason to talk again with her. This was the first time that I fought with her. Now I’m also fighting with my boyfriend because my mom hates him. What should I do to end the fight with my mom?
TLDR I had a fight with my mom because she hats my boyfriend. I want to stop the fight, but I don’t know what to do
2 comments
Maybe you want to ask why she doesn’t like him? You could try and work things out from there.
Why does she hate him? Objectively, are there reasons to think he’s a bad influence? You’re 18, what have been the rules in your household for dating?
Your mom is putting you in a shit position. If your BF sucks, she should cultivate the communication that you feel comfortable to come to her in case he does do something bad. You’re now busy trying to not upset her, but everything does. So it makes sense that this escalated fight happens. She’ll prolly only be happy if you’re single again.
Go for honesty and upset her every time. She then knows where you are at least and she can decide if she wants to pout. If there are curfews or whatever in place, follow those, because then there is a pattern of you obliging to her rules. At this moment she’s being a drama queen, just wait that out.
It might be time that you make plans/preparations to move out. Sometimes it takes a while for that to happen. When you are on your own, your parent can’t see what you do and then they can’t have any opinion on what’s happening. Til then you’re going to have this dynamic in the household.