I was dating this girl for basically 2 months, we hanged out together 5 times, of which 3 we slept together and in one we had physical contact in bed and nearly sex.
With the time going on I found out that she wasn’t the right person for me (some factors which for me are important lead to incompatibilities) and really I started to feel bad and trapped when surrounded with her. There were certain moments which were good but at the end of the day I think I really didn’t have much feelings for her.
For this reason 1 week ago I told her we should be just friends, she was okay with that and suggested me to be a bit more, like fwb. I said it was ok (we never had sex actually so for me that was like friends but with kissing each other, idk…) and then I started to feel that she started to get more and more attached to me, like really having a lot of feelings on me. At the same time I started to feel even worse in all of that and wanted to escape so much.
Today I made my decision, we made a videocall and I told her that seriously, I don’t have many feelings and we should be just friends (i.e. not have anything physical or romantic at all), that I needed time to understand what I was feeling and so on…
She cried a lot and said that she was starting to feel a lot of me and I am a bad person because this night she will be unable to sleep because of me while I will wake up tomorrow and feel “normal” (I don’t know if this will be the case).
Do you think that I did something wrong?
Like really I wanted to see if it worked out but at the end I really felt that it wasn’t working and at the same time she put a lot of pressure on me… my stomach hurts now because really all of this was too much, from my side I would say that we weren’t even in a relationship in the first place so idk, wasn’t expecting such a reaction.
I usually care a lot about those with whom I start to have a connection but in this case it was really difficult to feel any…
Now after 2 videocalls she is still messaging me, saying things like “I cared so much about you”, “I can’t believe this is happening”, “I can’t believe you won’t care tomorrow morning”… should I reply? I really don’t feel like that, I would just like to go to sleep and try to forget all of this.

3 comments
  1. Mistake number one, never agree to be friends with benefits. If it sounds too good to be true, that’s probably becuase it is. No, the heart wants what the heart wants. Tell her exactly how you feel and say you might able to get there one day, but that day is not right now (if you think you can, def don’t lie or lead her on.)

  2. No you did nothing wrong!!! She suggested the “fwb” and she is responsible for letting her getting attached to you after you straight up told her how you felt. You have nothing to feel bad about!

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like