i (F20) have been dating my boyfriend (M21) for a few months now, we were friends for about a year before we actually got together. he’s the best guy i’ve been with. he ticks off all my boxes. he’s so giving, and just an overall very attentive, kind, and caring, thoughtful person. i’m very much attracted to him and he’s my ideal type. he makes me feel very safe and secure. but even though he’s absolutely perfect, i feel like something is missing. we have a great connection, but there are times where i start thinking maybe we would’ve been better off as friends? he doesn’t give me butterflies either, when i’m with him i just feel content and very warm. it’s a different kind of feeling. to give context, i’ve only had one boyfriend before him. we were in an off-and-on relationship for about 2 years, and he was very controlling and abusive and manipulative. he was a really lazy boyfriend, we never went out. whereas my current boyfriend goes out of his way to plan dates for us, surprises me with gifts, spoils me, and always makes sure i’m happy and being taken care of. the men i’ve talked to after my ex weren’t any better either. i was in two situationships, and was treated horribly as well, they didn’t want to commit to me. where as my boyfriend knew he wanted me from the day he met me. with others it was a very intense kind of love. this is the first time i’ve experienced a love that is so kind, and soft, and comforting. i’m trying to accept that this is the love that i deserve, but i can’t shake the feeling that i’m missing something. i feel like i’m just used to the high highs and low lows and craving the passion that came with my past toxic relationships. with him, it’s very slow and steady. how do you know where to draw the lines? do i truly feel unfulfilled or am i self sabotaging?
TDLR: am i (20F) self sabotaging my relationship with my boyfriend (M21) or am i truly missing something?