I messed up today by making our shared lunch something he couldn’t eat (comfortably due to allergy) and then I made a snarky remark about remembering his medicine to help dull the allergy.
I know I fucked up. I just didn’t think ahead when I made the order, which is stupid and careless. Then to follow up my carelessness with a snarky comment, because I *still* hadn’t put together the fact that I had messed up, is even more shity.
I tried to apologize when I realized what I had done. The rest of our day has been soured because of it.
My partner and I tried to talk about it. He said he was frustrated about me saying my snarky comment and that it was rude especially after he paid for my lunch. I agreed and said that I was also done for the day because we weren’t going to have fun anymore.
He told me that he doesn’t get to be upset because it’s always about comforting me that his not mad at me. He didn’t want to listen to anything else I tried to say to apologize and let him know I care.
How do I show him that I do care and what to do better?
How do I communicate that he has every right to be upset and he doesn’t need to make me feel better?
How do I communicate that he can come first in this and that I want to make him feel better?
How do I make him feel better?
I am so frustrated with how careless I can get like this. I just want to be better but I keep falling short.
Please help