My boyfriend “Alex” and his best friend “Jack” have known each other since middle school. They have a group of guy friends, 6 of them in total, all of them also being from middle school/high school.
There’s a running joke between them regarding Alex and Jack. It comes from their high school period, when one of the other friends caugh them blowing each other. Their explaination was that neither of them could get laid with a girl, so they just did it with each other.
Their friends are convinced that it kept happening all throughout high school, and later during the start of college until they both found girlfriends. They used to deny it, but in the end admitted that it happened a few more times, but apparently not for as long as their friends believe.
The main joke is that whenever they’re single, they still do it, and that when they’re both in relationships, and whenever one of them gets broken up with or breaks up with a girl, the other one gets out of his relationship too, so they can go back to sucking each other off. The two of them claim that it’s a coincidence and would always play up the joke.
I only know all of this from the friends’ retelling of the story/joke, and from what Alex told me, that it was just a puberty thing. I haven’t witnessed their friendship at all, because for the past two years, Jack has been in a relationship with a girl, and he moved away with her more than a year ago, before I met Alex.
Now, Jack and the girlfriend broke up, and he is moving back in a few days. All of the guys are very happy about it. I did feel a little uneasy, and I talked to Alex. But he assured me that the whole thing really is just a joke. From my POV, I don’t have a reason not to trust him. Our relationship has been nothing but positive, we spend a lot of time together, and he’s been very respectful and loving to me. He’s all green flags.
However, there’s two things that bother me.
1) All of the guys like Jack’s now-ex girlfriend. They got to know her before she moved, and the few times she came up in a conversation, it was always on a positive note. They genuinely liked her as a part of the gang and even once agreed she’s their favorite girl Jack’s ever dated. Alex is the only one of the guys who dislikes her. He’d have a really negative response to anything positive someone said about her, and a negative reaction in general when she’d be brought up. He didn’t care to elaborate when I asked him about it once, only said they didn’t get on at all from the start.
2) After we found out Jack’s coming back, I once mentioned to one of the guys that I’m excited for us to meet, since I heard so much about him. His response was along the lines of “that’s crazy, Jack probably doesn’t even know you exist.” It was lighthearted but it wasn’t a joke. I was taken aback. He was dismissive when I asked him why, saying that Alex and Jack don’t talk about “stuff like relationships”. I told this guy’s girlfriend, who I’m friends with, about it, and she tried to find out more from him. But all he said is that Alex and Jack are “just weird”.
They’ll be picking him up at the airport when he arrives, and he’ll be staying with Alex until he finds a place. I often sleep over at Alex’s, so I asked if he’ll still want me there and his response was of course. I didn’t ask about the other things because I have a feeling he’d just dismiss it, and I don’t want to give away what I’ve noticed.
Anyway, I can’t imagine him cheating on me, especially with a guy, or our relationships ending now, when I’ve literally met his family last month. But he’s been distracted since Jack announced he’s coming back. He’s excited about it, but I can’t say it’s unexpected when he’s always said Jack is like family to him.
But I still feel sort of uneasy and I don’t know what to expect. Should I stop thinking about it and trust him? Or does it sound like I do have something to worry about?
TL;DR : My boyfriend and his best friend used to go down on each other, but he claims it wasn’t serious at all and that it stopped years ago. I’m unsure of whether I believe him, even though I don’t really have a reason not to.