I (34f) went out with an old friend of a friend I’ve known for around 13 years (36m) after speaking to them on the phone and Instagram messages for 8 weeks (since before Xmas). He asked me on a few dates and I said no. I cancelled on our park date last Saturday as I was too nervous. I realised I could be missing something special with him as conversation had been so good so asked him to meet after work on Valentine’s Day. We knew it would be for a couple of hours just to initially cut the ice and be in each others company.
We went for a walk and talk for the first half hour. He was very touchy feely and tried to tickle me (which reminded me of being on a date as a 14 year old). I suggested we grab something small to eat to share and went to a restaurant. When chatting and eating things started to get a little strange: he tapped me on the head as I was looking at the food, he tried to put his finger up my nose and then afterwards tried to put his finger in my mouth mid sentence. I was so shocked my gut reaction was to tell him “that’s not normal” and his response was: “you let me”. He also was squeezing my knee, smelling my hair and put his hand on the nape of my neck and started squeezing it. He may have even done the cracking an egg on your head/back thing too. I told him “no” and “please stop” and even took his hands to make him hold his own hands and he just looked back at me smiling.
I do have bad posture and I was nervous so maybe he thought he was just helping me be less tense. Or he could be used to doing whatever he wants to women/girls I am not sure. Has anyone else experienced someone like this?
At the end of the date when we left to say goodbye we did kiss, but I stopped the kiss and told him I still wasn’t sure if I trusted him yet and had some thinking to do. There was a connection but he overstepped some boundaries quite quickly and I know it wouldn’t work unless he confirmed he understood that and respected me going forward. I sent him a message saying that and said I’d like to hear his thoughts.
I sent the message Thursday and he’s since said he can see me again but hasn’t acknowledged what I said about boundaries. He has sent a couple of messages today being extremely short. I have a feeling that’s it and nothing further will happen but I’m totally confused about the whole thing. He was perfectly normal in the messages and conversations before. He even told me how many kids he wanted and we DID had a great connection.
Maybe his dating game hasn’t been updated since he was 16 and this is why the mini date was so bad. But surely at 36 things are in a different perspective? Did I not pass the submissive potential girlfriend test?
Men who act this way (I won’t judge you) : what was going on in his mind?