Do you consider this cheating?
I (24 F) recently found out that my bf (24 M) has “attempted” to reach out to his ex (we’ll call her Kayla) twice through her friends. We’ve been together for 2.5 years. A year ago he drunkingly called his ex’s best friend & told her that he still loved Kayla & was wondering if Kayla & her current bf were still together. When the friend said “aren’t you still dating your gf?”, he said “yeah but I don’t care about her. She bothers me.” The friend then said that Kayla was still happy with her bf, to which my boyfriend “jokingly” replied with “well, do you want to fuck me then?”.
A month later he (now sober) called another one of his exes friends and asked the friend if he thought it was a good idea to reach out to her. He asked for more information regarding her relationship with her current bf.
This is all the information that I have. When I confronted him, he said “I still care about her. I just wanted to see how she was doing. And I didn’t ask the friend if she wanted to fuck.”
(He later told his best friend that he DID ask that, but that he was joking).
I’m devastated. What are your thoughts? He’s constantly concerned about what I’m doing on my phone/who I’m talking to/where I’m going/if anyone has flirted with me/who’s Dm’ing me/ etc. I’ve been nothing but loyal. Seems like he’s projecting.
TLDR; bf of 2.5 years contacted two of his ex’s friends to ask information about her & her current bf. Told the friends he still loved her & wondered if he should reach out, then proceeded to ask the ex’s friend if she wanted to fuck.