Throw away bc I don’t want this tied to my main.
**TW for mention of traumatic abortions, miscarriages, and stillbirths**
We’re still young and I’ll be honest he’s been my first so I’m still settling into sexual activity in general. It’s awesome and he’s so good to me.
I’ve been a little paranoid about accidents though, for one reason; we disagree on what we should do in those cases. He would prefer I get an abortion because, in his head, he believes that we can always have a child later if or when we’re ready. While I agree in some ways, I’m just not comfortable with having an abortion. I’m pro-choice, don’t get me wrong, but I just couldn’t ever do it. He says it like it’s so simple and I feel dismissed when I try to explain my side.
I love babies, I want to have children one day. But, for many in my family it’s hard or impossible. For example; my bio-mom had 14 pregnancies and only three of which made it (Me and my two siblings). She dealt with loss after loss, stillbirth after miscarriage. The women in my family all have this issue. There’s an unspoken rule that you don’t tell anyone for three months at the least in my family. The thought that I could lose one chance breaks my heart. And to add, I’ve had nightmares about this; having a surgical abortion alone, sitting by my toilet sobbing and puking. I’m petrified of it! I’m even more scared that he’ll be upset if I can’t do it in that case though.
The reason this is coming up now is I’m switching my bc from the pill the the shot as I can forget them and I need something more reliable. During this switch I ran out of the pill but since I’m just waiting for the end of my next period I thought “It’ll be here in a few days, I’ll be okay” and we don’t live together and have busy lives so we only get to do the dirty dance at most once a week so I thought it’d be fine. It’s now been two weeks since my period was meant to start and I’m dreading this.
We’ve had one small scare before this where I felt like he was so carefree about it and I didn’t feel supported at all
How can I communicate this to him and ask for more support? Any extra advice?