Hi reddit,
As title suggests I’m at my wits end with the way my (F25) fiancée treats me and her lack of care financially that has caused us to go deeper and deeper into debt feeling like we are never going to escape.
We have been together for three years, engaged for one. Fiancée does not work and is on disability and stays home, I am the sole bread winner and do 50 hour work weeks. Initially I was okay with this as we talked about her being a stay at home mom, however we have not been successful (for the best) but she does not want to work. Every time I bring up getting a job she finds every excuse under the sun against it. Her day typically goes like such, wakes up late afternoon after staying up all hours of the night keeping me up, does not leave bed and sits on her phone browsing stupid social media apps and stirring up drama online until I get home. She does nothing around the house, and leaves cooking, cleaning and everything else on me even know I’ve been working all day.
On top of that she prioritizes friends over us every single scenario and is always scheduling ‘us’ to go out and do things she wants but never what I want. It’s gotten to the point where I make some romantic plans but know at the end of the day if a friend wants to hang out our plans will be canceled all so she can go ‘visit’ this friend while they proceed to sit with there faces in there phones the entire time. I’m so exhausted from doing everything that I feel like I’m constantly on empty and am just waiting for the train to de rail.
Not to mention the way she treats me, she constantly lashes out at me for doing something a little differently from how she would if she ever did anything to help out and goes on these rants about men being pos and how we never listen. She often makes fun of my appearance and assures me she can find anyone better looking anytime she wants. If she gets upset or called out the entire week is ruined as she goes into a depressive state and gives me the silent treatment. If I ever ask for help she tells me I’m being unfair and she doesn’t want to deal with my shit so I don’t even bother asking anymore.
Lastly the biggest and most draining is her ideal lavish lifestyle wanting to own fancy cars, million dollar houses, lake houses anything that costs way to much money and gives you the look at me status she’s all about it. She cares so much about what other people think about her it makes me sick. I lost my jeep, my sports car, maxed out the credit cards trying to make ends meet and forced myself to have to get a reliable family cash car which she despises and has told me she does not want to be seen in this and constantly tells me how much of a pos it is. We split the rent, after that the rest of her ‘free’ money goes to herself buying clothes, purses, anything she wants so I’m constantly left covering everything else plus my debts which I never see an end to. On top of that she is so far south from our needs and wants and everyday talks about having a wedding with 500+ guests and paying for all her bridesmaids dresses like with what money?
At this point I honestly don’t know what to do, I hate being around her, I dread coming home from work because our apartment feels like my graveyard and don’t know how much longer I can do this for.
*** Just to add, it’s not as simple as just leaving her she has blatantly told me she will do whatever it takes to ruin my life if I leave starting with my career.
Pretty lost at this point.