I (47m) am in a 20 year-long relationship with a woman (45f) who had a bit of a kinky side (rough sex, light BDSM) when we started dating, but it slowly dwindled over time as we married, had kids, etc.
About 12 years or so, she became adamantly anti-porn after catching our young child looking at it. A flip switched in her head and that was it. This is not a post about how to change that. I respect her choice.
But starting recently, she seems to have been ready and willing to start re-exploring her kinkier side. Which is awesome. But I feel like it’s really hard to explore kinks if you don’t look at porn once in a while, maybe as a couple, for ideas or instruction.
She still reads written erotica (no debate on whether or not that’s porn, either, please. It’s not really relevant here). So, I suppose that’s a source of ideas, but is that really enough? Am I just being a guy when I feel like you need visuals to really explore things you might want to try?
Is it at all common to be pro-kink but anti-porn? If you are someone like this, what do you do to learn about and explore new things you might want to try?