If it’s to long to read I understand
Me and my girlfriend have been having some serious issues. I asked my gf to move out a couple of weeks ago because I didn’t feel like she respects me or my house. And I feel frequently taken advantage of (I bought a house by myself by myself a couple of years ago when I was partnered in a larger business).
I didn’t recommend we break up bit just took some space so she could shoulder some of her own responsibilities financially to see what it actually takes to be a fully financially responsible person.
My mortgage is $2300 and I work from home so my utilities like the power I cover myself I’ve got a car and a small loan I’m paying off, all and all my bills are roughly 4500 more since she moved in maybe like 4800 ( not including buisness expenses)give or take a couple hundred depending on utilities. Before she moved in she said she could afford to give me 600$ a month. 150 a week, I even said id take 500$ if she could do it all at once. ( im legit going to use this money to take care of her) And that includes absolutely everything, food, utilities weed I get for myself. I make enough to get by but not enough to take care of someone elts 100% maybe like 65k after taxes ( it’s my first year as a solo business owner and ive still not filed my taxes so can’t say 100%) but either way I still drive doordash in my shitty little little 3 cylinder gas saver when I’m not busy. I work 40-60 hours a week regularly but I love running my own business. Back to the point, she’s not given me anything in the past 2 months and she even took a flight to go visit family and that was cool and everything but when I reccomend she got her own place again she started throwing stuff and just screaming. There was some minor damage to 2 of the walls, a few holes from picture frames and then she threw my pasta roller and put a huge dent in the hardwood floor. I’m not saying her mental health is more important then my house but after throwing several smaller objects and was slowly grabbing larger I tried to stop her by grabbing her hand(which I think I shouldn’t have done now) and this 110lb girl started punching me in the face. She hit me 4 times really quick before I let go. For reference I’m 5’9 and 190lbs and I’m in great shape and I’ve never been more shook up by someone hitting me. I just wanted her to stop throwing my stuff.
I lost it, I backed away screaming ” what the fuck, you actually just hit me?” I started screaming such nasty things while I was angry, how her best friend is fucking trashy, how I wanted her out that fucking instant, how lazy and ungrateful she was, how she needed fucking anger management and how her parents didnt finish rasing her. And when she told me I was being crazy I realized I indeed was being fucking crazy and stormed off downstairs in my office to be alone. I was extremely upset that I had lost my temper but was shocked that she had hit me as well. I was going threw it emotionally.
( some back story on the friend ) (They’re constantly going out weekly and drinking and or day tripping like weekly. And they’ve worked together and have been fired from multiple jobs together both of them for drinking on the job. And I was hyping her up to look for a new job because she hated her current one so much ( her friend got fried from it already) and she took a minimum wage job where her friend makes like 20$ an hour as the manager.)
I’m cool with having fun, I just can’t get my head around going out with friends when she’s so broke she dosnt even have the funds to afford new windshield wiper blades for her absolutely destroyed windshield she refuses to replace but that just my priorities.
The next day there was a sorry card and some flowers, nothing was said about it for another 24-32 hours until I was at the gym and she asked me if was just going to ignore it. I told her I was waiting for her to give it to me so we could talk and I got home and I came home to the card ripped up and the flowers in the trash instead. I pulled it out and the card litteraly just said I’m really sorry, I love you so much. I pulled the flowers out because I though they were nice.
We talk for a bit and things calm down a tad. Communication has been alright for a week or so. Today rolls by and the same thing happens happens she didnt give me any money last friday per agreement ( also I have to force her to do chores and she’s got an attitude about it the whole time. I litteraly put all her clothes away because they were just thrown all over the guest room so she’d sleep in there tonight) So, right. today we make plans to go to the store after she got back from the gym today at 12, she texts me she dosnt want to go to the store and it makes her anxious and she will just send me some money… at 1:50pm…. and that her and her friend are at lunch. ( same friend i dont like)I told her that I had just wanted to spend sometime with her l because I only needed to grab a bag of protien ( it’s my before bed sweet treat and helps me hit my macros also I had to grab more at somepoint this week) and that I was only really going so she could grab some stuff for herself ( I meal prep and make a extra when I cook and give her a plate fresh but I meal prep so it’s every other day or every few days depending on what I make) because she was complaining she was hungry the day before and there was nothing to eat. And that I wasn’t going to spend that time by myself shopping for both of us when I have over 2 weeks worth of protien, veggies and carb sources for myself at the house. She just replied lmao really?
And I asked her what she thought was so funny?
At this point it’s like 4pm now and she’s like posting photos of her and her friends family and some friends all play Catan and drinking and I saw that and got more annoyed.
She told me I was being selfish
I snapped back “it’s not like I was waiting to hang out with you all morning, pushed back work on her day off but she’d literally rather go play games with her friends drinking than hang out with me. And she’s got to work with them tomorrow..” Then I and also reminded her that she’s given me nothing towards any bills for over 2 months and should get her own place and she might be a little more grateful of the selfishness I have for myself. She left for the gym and came back 8 hours later and I just cleaned the guest room out and asked her to sleep in there.
I’m so upset to be in this position I feel like I’m going to lose a friend but I honestly can not let someone take advantage of me. And on top of this our sex life is also almost non exist as of late. This girl shaved one leg and said it was to hard to get the razor threw the long hair so she just left the other leg unshaved. It’s been almost a month of that alone. I have mad allergies and we have 3 animals in the house so I’m regularly like drawing from my face and if I spit in the toilet or in public she reminds me how fucking disgusting I am. Or if my breath stinks she will be like damn babe stop talking to me. And legit I swear she will just say it to get me to stop talking. I just don’t know what to do like legally. I never had her sign a lease or anything and I talked to her old roommates and surprise, she’s not allowed to move back in. I know I’m far from perfect and she says asking where she is is mad controlling and I feel like it’s also just common curiosity to let you s/o of over a year who you live with to let you know if you’re going to be gone… for like 5+ hours. I love her but between the hitting, lack of motivation, the awful white trash friends, should I just get her out of here? Am I a complete ass hole? I felt like I was asking the bare minimum…
Thanks for reading I spent like 2 hours writing this garbage and I know I’m an awful writer. So sorry for that.