How fucked up am I? I had this journal back in 2020-2022 on my phone that I typed on basically putting down every single thought. My grandfather died and while people were crying next to him, I was writing it down.

I can’t say that I love my family, my wish for the past few years has been just to slowly phase myself out and away.

I haven’t had friends for years and I’m fine knowing I’ll never make any.

One day off a whim, I deleted it all. I should’ve kept it as an archive.

The last thing I said was “no one should have the ability to milk out their emotions”.