I’ve been with my bf for 2 years. We’re both 20.
Recently, 2 coworkers treated my bf awfully (a bit of workplace bullying). The two have a mutual crush thing but won’t get together for personal reasons.
One of them, F20, gave a long, self-centred, and manipulative apology. It made use of, I guess, purple prose. It was overly exaggerated to the point of mocking my bf (e.g., “I must apologise for the horrendous tragedy that befell you”). And made excuses for herself while not actually apologising. My bf agreed, and formulated a message telling her that while he appreciated that this is just her messaging style (she talks like this is texts a lot, but not irl, and never this exaggerated till the “apology”), he didn’t feel it was actually an apology and that the language felt inappropriate. She properly apologised after but still made an excuse. It was one sentence among two paragraphs, but still there. The other, M20, gave an immediate apology that was straightforward, immediate, and without any excuses. My bf accepted it and thanked him.
Now, F20 has previously been a bit bleh before. There was a shift swap incident. F20 didn’t want to do a particular shift. My bf offered to swap with her and she accepted, thanking him. After the shift though, she sent him paragraphs on paragraphs. She talked about how it felt like he was manipulating her, and she didn’t want the shift and felt forced into it. He apologised, and had to spend hours messaging back and forth to comfort her. When he told me what happened, I straight up said, “wow, that’s manipulative” and he defended her saying, “she’s not like this irl”. He’s had to comfort her on F20 and M20’s relationship troubles too.
Now M20 sucks to me, too. Once he got mad at my bf for talking about DnD (at work for 5 mins) with F20, saying that he wanted to introduce it to her. M20 apologised. It was honestly really silly, and I know we’re not that old but high school behaviour.
Recently, my bf has made jokes about wanting to ghost/drop M20 (when references to such things come up). He makes negative comments about M20 but not about F20 despite F20 having the worst apology. Additionally, my bf has been friends with M20 for years, and has only known F20 for a year, and been friends with her for 6 months. Idk, I’ve thought he’s been overly partial to women for a while. It’s sweet, but it gets on my nerves sometimes. Especially since F20 reminds me of a long-term bully I had when I was younger. Not that her actions were just as bad, but the mannerisms and the way she apologises are the same.
Idk if I’m correct or overly sensitive with regards to F20’s behaviour… but I also want to be able to bring it up to my bf without sounding like a jealous and vindictive partner. He just gets a bit defensive around her.
**TL;DR; :** My bf is overly forgiving to a female friend even when a male friend did the exact same thing. He defends her a lot. How do I bring it up without making him feel bad, or coming across as a jealous and vindictive gf?