Hi all, my mom (68F) and I (31F) are at an impasse. For some back story: my mom doesn’t work due to a disability and before that, she was a waitress most of her life, so she has no savings and her only income is about $1500 a month from social security. For years, I’ve been supporting her by moving in with her- I’ve been paying the rent, the bulk of the bills, groceries, etc.
A little over a year ago I met my current partner, who I am planning my future with. I am already more or less moved in with him, but my mom seems to think I’m going to keep financially supporting her forever. For the first half of my relationship with my partner, I was still paying everything for my mom. Once my partner and I discussed taking the next steps, we realized that would no longer be feasible if we wanted to build a future together.
After many, many, many fights with my mom, she reluctantly agreed a few weeks ago to fill out a housing application for a place she can more realistically afford. I came over today to do laundry and see how that was going, and she told me that now she decided she wasn’t going to fill out the application because she wouldn’t be able to get housing assistance for her current house and she doesn’t want to move. I told her that was unrealistic because there’s no way she can afford her current place on her own, and she started coming up with a “solution” in that “id just keep paying half her rent and she’ll figure everything else out.”
I pretty much lost it. I told her she was taking advantage of me, that she could not expect me to support her forever. I started asking her things like “what do you expect if me and (partner) got married or had a baby????” and she started throwing a fit, saying that I don’t care about her and blah blah blah……
For the record, my mom refuses to look at senior housing because she claims “she’ll feel like she’s already dead if she lives there” even though all she does is sit at home and watch TV seven days a week.
TL;DR Mom expects me to continue to financially support her despite me wanting to move out and take the next steps with my partner and I don’t know what to do.