I have been married for almost one year. We have been together for almost six years. We have Two kids, our youngest is 7 months old. I am attractive and slim yet curvy. I have never been ok with porn. I set that boundary in the beginning. Throughout our relationship I have caught him on porn and OF at least eight times. All big fights with him apologizing and cutting it out, so he says. Our sex had been bad recently. It is hot and great in the beginning and he loses his hard on. And I mean talking dirty and feels amazing. He has also been extremely mean and short tempered. So when that happened I figured he had been watching porn again. Or even cheating. I told him to stop and focus that energy on me. I didn’t even look for it on his phone. He agreed to stop. Well less than a week after that we went out for dinner, where he got drunk and went off on me for not having sex more. I was confused because we just had sex and he lost his errection. I was so confused I asked to see his phone. I saw that he had a digital safe app and asked him to open it. He fought hard, but later opened it. He told me it was only saved porn but it was saved nudes over 1 thousand videos and photos of girls masturbating and just naked. It was jarring because he was getting off to other women’s bodies when he could have been looking at mine. I just had a baby and thought i looked fantastic. It crushed my heart and self-esteem. He lied so much, about the app, and what was on there. He even knew that even though he warned me that it was porn, i would be even more upset when i saw it. And i was confused. It was worse because if not for some of the onlyfans tags, it looked like nudes you would send someone directly. I’m lost right now, because I have to respect myself. However, I never wanted my kids to go threw the grief of divorce. My husband has no moral compass and no drive to actually stop. I don’t know what to do. I am looking into counseling.