Ok, I am 68 years old and live with a lady who is 67 years old. No, we are not officially married because dementia runs heavily in my family, and we agree it would be best not to mingle finances. We grew up next door to each other and have been friends for many years. Never really got together in the past. We just never seemed to be on the same page at the same time. A year or so after my wife of 25 years passed, we ran into each other at a mutual friends party, and it moved on from there. We have been living in my home where I have lived for 30 years. She was living in the family home with her grown son, has no other home, and not a lot of savings due to some health issues. I thought things were going well, I was happy and she seemed happy.
A year or so after she moved in, we discussed scaling down. I agreed to build a small home on land l inherited back where we grew up. It would be next door to her son, who bought the family home and got married. It was not my first choice, but it made her happy, which was important to me. It is out in the boonies it’s, but I grew up there so I could deal with it. Picked plan, it was in the budget I had in mind, I had the cash, and we were set. But, the cost of materials shot up almost overnight, and the builder backed out suggested we wait for things to come back down.
I have always been healthy, had never been in the hospital, or had anr serious health issues. So, while we were waiting, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer and spent a year getting that taken care of. Then I developed a heart condition and just had my third minor heart procedure, which should take care of the problem. But this has made me realize how nice it is being on the edge of the city close to everything instead of a 20-minute drive to anything, especially since my health got a little funky.
I have lived here longer than I lived in the boonies growing up. This is home to me. She always lived there in boonies, and that is home to her. So now her son is expecting a child, her first grandchild and she wants to live there, but I have changed my mind, mainly because of the health issues and realzation that I am gettig older and really not looking forward to building then moving.
She is unhappy with me now, because I prefer to stay here. I am pretty sure she is thinking about going without me, although I have no idea where she would go unless she moves in with her son. I am not sure that will fly with a new wife.
It would only be a 25-mile drive from here to there, so I do not see it as such a big deal. Am I being unreasonable to put our health concerns over moving near new grandchild?